I Got Thumped

Have you ever found yourself going through life on auto pilot or rushing through every minute of the day or just plain crabby and then something happens to make you realize how good you've got it? Or how amazing this world truly is?

My co-worker calls that "getting thumped." God sees you taking everything for granted or throwing yourself a pity party and gives you a big ol' "thump." Hey, open your eyes! SLOW DOWN! Maybe even smile a little bit.

Well I've been getting thumped a lot lately. It's a particular kind of thump. The kind that reminds me how GOOD people are.

This whole adoption thing has made me interact with people I never would have met otherwise and in ways I never would have dreamed (like discussing my infertility with the Fed-Ex man, for example.) Over and over I find myself touched by how perfect strangers are willing to go the extra mile to help us find our baby.

Just a few examples:

• A college student at St.Olaf offered to make extra copies of our flier, consult with his boss, and hang them every possible place he could think of. On his own time.
• An acquaintance of mine from high school owns a store and offered to put a pile of fliers by his cash register. We haven't talked for 10 years, and rarely crossed paths even before then.
• Several people have posted our information in their personal blogs. Some of these people I have never met and probably never will.
• A waitress at Fitgers in Duluth saw Jonathan hang up our flier and came to our aid. She said he had put it at "hip level" and it would be destroyed by the many servers walking in and out of the kitchen. So she took a new one, dug up some industrial strength packing tape and completely laminated it to the wall. It might peel off the paint when it's time to take it down.

And those are just people we don't know! I can't even BEGIN to list all the ways our friends and family continue to love and support us. I feel like I go through every day wrapped in a giant bubble of prayers, love, and positive thoughts.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Who doesn't like Pop Rocks?

This was the same reaction I had when I first tasted Pop Rocks.

Have I Ever Told You How Much I Love My Husband?

I got a good one, you guys. A really good one. He can make me laugh even when I don't want to.

Remember how I mentioned in the last post that a pregnant girl said to me, "Oh my God! YOU are pregnant? You look fantastic!" I figured this would happen, but I still didn't respond in a very intelligent way when it did. I said "Yeah, I'm not. We're adopting." And then I mumbled something really witty like "Well I'm glad I don't look pregnant... since I'm not..." and then walked away really fast.

Jonathan could tell I was a bit rattled. When I went into the bathroom, I passed the baby off to Jonathan so he could watch him while I was peeing*

(*What? I forgot to explain this part? We were given baby dolls at the beginning of class and told to treat them as we would a real baby. Specifically, "You wouldn't leave your babies lying on a table, would you? Pick them up!" She said if we needed to go to the bathroom, we had to bring them with us or find a sitter)

So, back to the bathroom. Me, going over the encounter with the pregnant girl in my head; Jonathan, watching our plastic child.

When I was done using the bathroom, I opened the door and hit something. Something small. Something low to the ground. Something... swaddled? There, lying on the commercial grade blue/green/brown flecked carpet was our little wide-eyed baby. Waiting for me to hit him in the head with the bathroom door.

I burst out laughing and couldn't stop until we got back into the room.

That, right there, is why I love my husband.

Baby Class

If you ask a woman dealing with infertility whether she would rather spend three hours in:

A. A room full of glowing pregnant women or
B. A pirhana infested bathtub,

... she would probably help you draw the bath.

Okay, now that I've shocked you with my bitterness, we can continue on with the story. =)

Our adoption agency recommended that we attend some sort of "Caring For Your Newborn" class through a hospital or clinic. So, that's what we did. We specifically chose the after-the-baby-is-born class since the labor and delivery part obviously does not pertain to us.

I started to become nervous a few hours before the class started, which surprised me. Up until that point, I had been looking forward to the class as a way to learn some baby basics. But as the class grew closer, I really considered the fact that I would be the only non-pregnant female in the room. Awesome. I briefly fantasized about stuffing a pillow in my shirt. (I even decided which pillow I would use, people.)

Well, my fears were only half-confirmed. I was the only non-pregnant, non-male person in the room. But, I only got one comment ("YOU are pregnant?! You look fantastic!") and they didn't make me wear a t-shirt saying "INFERTILE" and sit on a stool in front of the class. Whew!

All jokes aside, it was surprisingly hard for me but very valuable for both of us (we got to practice swaddling, diapering to avoid the umbilical cord, and the "football hold"). Not that we'll remember any of it when there's an actual baby involved! I suppose that's where the "trial by fire" and "learning on the job" thing comes in.... =)

Adoption Brain

Pregnancy brain. Wisegeek.com defines the phenomenon in the following way:

"Pregnancy brain is a condition that affects expectant mothers, usually during the first and third trimesters. Sometimes known as placenta brain or baby brain drain, the condition is usually characterized by short-term memory loss or forgetfulness."

I'd like to propose the existence of Adoption Brain. Symptoms present in a similar manner to pregnancy brain; forgetful, absent-minded, distracted, flaky. You may suffer from a serious case of Adoption Brain if you have done any or all of the following within a one week period:

* Poured orange juice on your cereal
* Stood in the shower, unable to remember for the life of you if you've washed your hair yet
* Left the wrong phone number in a voicemail to a colleague because you've suddenly blanked on the number you've had for the past 600+ days.
* Said "Good boy!" to your computer when it booted up with no problems

I'm sure I've never done any of these things, but if I had, I would definitely blame it on Adoption Brain.

Why I Love My Job

I get hugs. At work. How many people can say that?!

Sometimes I'm sitting on the floor and a kid scoots over to me, squeezes my arm, and then goes back to doing whatever he was doing.

It's moments like that when I remember all over again how lucky I am.

Permission or forgiveness?

Since every other word on here is adoption, adoption, Cody, adoption, ADOPTION, you may have a hard time believing what I'm about to say:

Ahem.

There are still people in this world that don't know Jonathan and I are hoping to adopt a baby.

Yes, it's true. We are, however, on a mission to change that. =) One of the strategies my Adoption Bible suggests is to make sure all co-workers are aware of our plan and have access to our contact information. Maybe they know somebody who knows somebody... you know the drill.

Yesterday I e-mailed my supervisor, asking him if I could send a short e-mail to all special ed staff in my department. This e-mail would explain our desire to adopt a baby and list our contact information so they could have it on hand. Long story short, he didn't know the answer and passed the buck to his supervisor. She said, nope, can't do it. She was kind and offered alternatives, but was very clear that an e-mail such as this would violate our district's "acceptable use policy."

I get it. (Although I must admit that my first response was to cross my arms, pout at the computer, and say "But so-and-so sent out an all-staff e-mail trying to sell her TRUCK! No fair." Mature, huh?) If I had given it a little more thought, I would've realized that "no" is probably the only answer they could give me. I would be using a professional avenue to disseminate personal information and a school district can't go on the record saying, "Sure, go ahead."

With that said, I think they would have happily turned a blind eye if I had just done it. By asking permission, I forced them to answer with an official policy. And official policies always err on the side of caution. So the moral of the story is... I should do whatever I want. Ha! No, I'm kidding. But in some situations it makes more sense to ask for forgiveness rather than permission and I do believe this was one of them.

Back In The Saddle

For a few weeks after we found out the Minnesota birthmom was going to choose another couple, I wasn't in the mood to continue our outreach efforts. I didn't consciously sit down and think "I need a little time to move past this. I'm going to let myself heal for a couple weeks." No, I'm not nearly that self-aware or organized. =) But, it just sort of happened naturally. Whenever the thought crossed my mind about doing more things to get the word out... ugh. It just didn't appeal to me.

But, then something shifted and I was ready. Nothing dramatic or earth-shattering... I just woke up one day and putting an ad in the U of M student newspaper sounded like a good idea.

So we did.



Cool, huh? The ad will appear each day until school ends (6 editions total- including the "finals edition," which will be available all week for people to peruse. 5 days for the price of one!). It will also appear in the University of Minnesota- Duluth's newspaper next Wednesday. AND it's posted in the online version of UMD's paper at http://www.umdstatesman.com/classifieds/

We're famous!