Cody and I are creatures of habit. I come home from work, Cody races to the nearest patch of grass, hops in the Rav4, we drive to the dog park, and Cody whimpers like he's never been more excited in his life. Because we go around the same time each day, I’ve gotten to know some of the other people that frequent the park. I call them my dog park friends. As we pass on the trail we say things like, “Hi.” Or, “Hello.”
There are some dog park friends that I see everyday. These are the people that notice when Jonathan and I are babysitting another dog ("Who's this? Did you get a new dog?!"), when I hurt my knee ("Are you okay? You are usually such a fast walker!"), or when I take a trip ("You don't look quite as pale as the rest of us! Did you go somewhere warm?")
I giggle to myself when I think about what will go through their minds when I start bringing a real live human BABY to the dog park! Will they think back to the last time they saw me, wondering if they somehow missed my entire pregnancy?! How will they ask about who the baby is? WILL they ask?
Just something funny that I think about sometimes. =)
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Another call
We've been holding out on you, people. There's a Part 2 to that last post. Only two hours after we heard about the Las Vegas mom, my phone rang again. This time it was our adoption counselor with a different "situation." And this time, we were very, very interested.
Let me just pause here and say, getting two calls in one day is very, very uncommon. I have a theory about this. I think God knew that without this second call (only hours after the first), we may have been tempted to pursue the Las Vegas situation. Even though there were some factors that clearly made us uncomfortable. Having that second call in the same day snapped me out of the baby reverie and made me slow down and look at everything (a tiny bit) more objectively.
Anyway, back to this birth mom. She's 19, lives 50 minutes away, and is due June 27th. Oh. And she wants eight visits a year after the baby is born.
Eight! Our counselor told us there are very few adoptive families open to this much open-ness, so she was calling to "screen" us to see if we would even be interested in this situation. We said we'd be open to four.
I'm going to condense a 19-day drama into a few short sentences. We met with the birth mom twice over the course of two weeks. We had the chance to meet her boyfriend and mother. We spent six hours with her; laughing about old photographs, trading pet stories, talking about the baby, and getting to know one another. We had an instant connection with the birth mom and she repeatedly told her counselor how much both she and her mom liked us.
But. We knew that she was also spending time with two other couples. (We felt like we were on a non-trashy version of the Bachelor. We even had the "meet-the-family" date! Thank goodness there was no overnight date. That would've been awkward. )
This Monday we found out that she has decided to choose between the other two couples. They are both open to 8 visits a year.
Jonathan and I are sad, because we knew so much about this little one already. He's a boy, due June 27th. He already likes to suck his thumb and he kicks his mom when she's laying down to go to sleep. I was starting to picture myself wearing a little baby to the Maple Grove farmer's market every Thursday this summer. Or, road-tripping to my parents' place on Lake Superior with my THREE favorite boys.
With that said, we are really and truly okay. Not just pretending-to-be-okay-so-people-don't-stare-or-send-casseroles, but honestly okay. We both feel that we wouldn't change a thing, even if we could go back. Logistically, we thought 8 visits a year would have been nearly impossible to follow through with. The last thing we wanted to do was promise something we couldn't deliver. This baby was not our baby, but I know that our little one is out there. We will be ready when our baby finds us!
Let me just pause here and say, getting two calls in one day is very, very uncommon. I have a theory about this. I think God knew that without this second call (only hours after the first), we may have been tempted to pursue the Las Vegas situation. Even though there were some factors that clearly made us uncomfortable. Having that second call in the same day snapped me out of the baby reverie and made me slow down and look at everything (a tiny bit) more objectively.
Anyway, back to this birth mom. She's 19, lives 50 minutes away, and is due June 27th. Oh. And she wants eight visits a year after the baby is born.
Eight! Our counselor told us there are very few adoptive families open to this much open-ness, so she was calling to "screen" us to see if we would even be interested in this situation. We said we'd be open to four.
I'm going to condense a 19-day drama into a few short sentences. We met with the birth mom twice over the course of two weeks. We had the chance to meet her boyfriend and mother. We spent six hours with her; laughing about old photographs, trading pet stories, talking about the baby, and getting to know one another. We had an instant connection with the birth mom and she repeatedly told her counselor how much both she and her mom liked us.
But. We knew that she was also spending time with two other couples. (We felt like we were on a non-trashy version of the Bachelor. We even had the "meet-the-family" date! Thank goodness there was no overnight date. That would've been awkward. )
This Monday we found out that she has decided to choose between the other two couples. They are both open to 8 visits a year.
Jonathan and I are sad, because we knew so much about this little one already. He's a boy, due June 27th. He already likes to suck his thumb and he kicks his mom when she's laying down to go to sleep. I was starting to picture myself wearing a little baby to the Maple Grove farmer's market every Thursday this summer. Or, road-tripping to my parents' place on Lake Superior with my THREE favorite boys.
With that said, we are really and truly okay. Not just pretending-to-be-okay-so-people-don't-stare-or-send-casseroles, but honestly okay. We both feel that we wouldn't change a thing, even if we could go back. Logistically, we thought 8 visits a year would have been nearly impossible to follow through with. The last thing we wanted to do was promise something we couldn't deliver. This baby was not our baby, but I know that our little one is out there. We will be ready when our baby finds us!
Friday, April 9, 2010
A Call
A few weeks back, my phone rang as I was getting my kids on the bus. I peeked at it to see who was calling. It was our adoption lawyer. Hmmm. One of the buses was late, so I had to wait a few minutes until I could listen to the voicemail. I was curious, because we didn't have any outstanding business with her and I couldn't figure out why she would contact us.
When the bus finally came and I was able to check my voicemail, I heard "Becky, I have a situation that I need to discuss with you. Please call me back as soon as you can."
A "situation?" That's code for "There's a birth mom interested in you"! Agh!
I scrolled through my contacts faster than I've ever scrolled before! For the next few minutes, I stood outside my school, dumbfounded, as she told me about an expectant mom who lives in Las Vegas. The birth mom's lawyer had contacted other professionals in their adoption network, trying to find adoptive parents for this woman's baby. Our lawyer sent our profile. Turns out, the mom in Las Vegas chose us. She chose us. To parent her baby.
The rest of the afternoon is a blur to me. I anxiously waited for an e-mail our lawyer promised me- a social and medical history of the birth mom. I must admit, I was not the most present and dedicated teacher for those next few hours.
That evening, Jonathan and I reviewed all the information we had and eventually decided that this situation was not right for us. There were several factors that made us feel uneasy. As we helped each other process everything, it became clear that it was not a good fit for us.
This was not a decision we made lightly. There is a real live baby involved. Due on August 21st. Crazy, huh? But we feel confident that we made the right decision for our family. And now we move forward.
Definitely made things interesting for awhile there... =)
When the bus finally came and I was able to check my voicemail, I heard "Becky, I have a situation that I need to discuss with you. Please call me back as soon as you can."
A "situation?" That's code for "There's a birth mom interested in you"! Agh!
I scrolled through my contacts faster than I've ever scrolled before! For the next few minutes, I stood outside my school, dumbfounded, as she told me about an expectant mom who lives in Las Vegas. The birth mom's lawyer had contacted other professionals in their adoption network, trying to find adoptive parents for this woman's baby. Our lawyer sent our profile. Turns out, the mom in Las Vegas chose us. She chose us. To parent her baby.
The rest of the afternoon is a blur to me. I anxiously waited for an e-mail our lawyer promised me- a social and medical history of the birth mom. I must admit, I was not the most present and dedicated teacher for those next few hours.
That evening, Jonathan and I reviewed all the information we had and eventually decided that this situation was not right for us. There were several factors that made us feel uneasy. As we helped each other process everything, it became clear that it was not a good fit for us.
This was not a decision we made lightly. There is a real live baby involved. Due on August 21st. Crazy, huh? But we feel confident that we made the right decision for our family. And now we move forward.
Definitely made things interesting for awhile there... =)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Did You Miss Us?
We spent last week in warm, sunny Mexico! My poor chapped Minnesotan hands were healed the minute we stepped off the plane.
Here are a few pictures of our tropical vacation:
The tables have turned: Mommy and Daddy woke DREW up at 3 am!
The first of many cute faces we saw during the week
Drew, say "palapa"
The ocean!
Apparently iguanas are like squirrels in Mexico. They're everywhere!
Andy and Drew cooling off the tootsies
C-U-T-E
Snorkeling in Akumal. We saw five sea turtles and one sting ray!
Us =)
The happy Quiring family enjoying the pool
Total relaxation
The men
A day in Playa del Carmen
We saved most of the awesome towel art we got during the week. We called it "The Zoo."
We made some wonderful memories. Now back to our regularly scheduled program... =)
Here are a few pictures of our tropical vacation:
The tables have turned: Mommy and Daddy woke DREW up at 3 am!
The first of many cute faces we saw during the week
Drew, say "palapa"
The ocean!
Apparently iguanas are like squirrels in Mexico. They're everywhere!
Andy and Drew cooling off the tootsies
C-U-T-E
Snorkeling in Akumal. We saw five sea turtles and one sting ray!
Us =)
The happy Quiring family enjoying the pool
Total relaxation
The men
A day in Playa del Carmen
We saved most of the awesome towel art we got during the week. We called it "The Zoo."
We made some wonderful memories. Now back to our regularly scheduled program... =)
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