One of the Scary Parts

I am fully aware that I make our adoption story sound like it came straight from a Lisa Frank folder. You know, unicorns, dolphins, and rainbows surrounded by dreamy fuzzy edges. I don't know how to tell it any other way. It's a whirlwind-y story that ends with me becoming a mommy of the most beautiful little man ever. Nothing can beat that. And, if that isn't enough, we can't imagine a more incredible birth family to be going through it with.

However that doesn't mean that there haven't been difficult moments. One night in particular stands out from the blur of memories that those four days in the hospital have become.

In the hospital that Isaac was born, mothers are encouraged to keep the baby in their room with them overnight. New parents can practice parent stuff with the safety net of the nurses nearby. This is, however, assuming that the mother in the hospital is the mother that will be caring for the baby when he leaves.

The first night, Isaac slept in the NIC-U. The second night, however, he was out. And needed to sleep somewhere. And Lexie wanted him to stay in her room. All night. Without us.

As the hours ticked by and it became later and later, my stomach was in knots. I was worried that she wouldn't be able to tend to his basic needs during the middle of the night... she could barely walk to the bathroom due to the horrific c-section she had gone through. In fact, she had just gotten the colostomy bag removed a half hour before and had attempted her first steps out of bed. It was not reassuring.

But mostly? I was scared. to. death. that she would fall even more deeply in love with Isaac and we would never see him again. I cried on the way home. Felt like I was going to throw up the whole way to the hospital the next morning.

Obviously we know this story ends happily. The minute I walked into Lexie's room, I knew everything was okay. Better than okay. Happily-ever-after kind of stuff.

But it sure was a scary night.