Meant To Be

There are times in life when it's hard to swallow the old adage "everything happens for a reason." When your life has been turned upside down and you're in the middle of dark days with no end in sight... "everything happens for a reason" can be the last thing you want to hear.

The story I want to share is not like that at all. This is one of the happy, gives-you-goosebumps kind of stories. An instance where it's easy to believe that everything happens for a reason.

When Isaac was born, we spent almost every waking minute (and some sleeping ones) in the hospital. Lexie wanted it that way. I couldn't believe it, in fact. I kept looking for hints or subtle cues that she wanted some alone time with Isaac, or that she was feeling resentful of our presence... nothing. She kept saying over and over that we are his parents and we should be there. Lexie even encouraged us to invite friends and family to meet Isaac. Her selflessness floored me. I know for a fact that if I were in her position, I would not be able to be as open and welcoming as she was. Anyway. I digress.

At one point, a nurse came into Lexie's room and asked us for the name of Isaac's future pediatrician. I gave her the name of a doctor with whom I had scheduled a quick "meet and greet" appointment just days ago. (The agency had suggested we find a pediatrician before baby came home, so I blindly chose a pediatric clinic and took the earliest appointment with the first available doctor. )

When I told the nurse that the doctor's name was Dr. Richardson, Lexie said, "That's funny. My pediatrician when I was little was a Dr. Richardson." Suddenly I remembered a conversation that the doctor and I had during our meet and greet. When I told him what hospital the baby would be delivered at, he lit up and sang it's praises. Dr. Richardson said he used to do rounds there when he worked at a nearby clinic. A clinic in a town an hour away from where we live and where he currently practices medicine.

A clinic in the town that Lexie grew up in.

Later that day, Lexie asked her mom if she remembered Dr, Richardson's first name. It's an uncommon one, so she did remember it. Sure enough, Lexie's childhood doctor and the pediatrician we randomly chose for Isaac are one and the same.

Does everything happen for a reason? I don't know. Did the road of infertility lead us to a little boy that is obviously meant to be a part of our family? Sure did.

My Wine Rack Has Been Repurposed

It is now a drying rack for bibs. =)

Hmmm

Thanks to longer days, warmer weather, and an older baby that doesn't need an evening nap (correction: doesn't TAKE an evening nap), we manage to get to the dog park a bit more these days. Thursday was gorgeous, so Isaac, Cody, and I loaded into the Rav4 after work and headed to the park. I caught up with a mom about my age pushing her toddler in a stroller and we ended up walking together and chatting. She's pregnant with her second child, so when the conversation turned to pregnancy, labor, etc, it came up that we adopted Isaac. She says "Oh! I really want a girl, so if this baby isn't a girl, then I want to adopt to make SURE that we get a girl."

Sigh.

We were having such a nice conversation. Why'd she have to say something like that? The comment irritated me then and irritates me now, even though I keep trying to remind myself, it's just her ignorance talking. She hasn't had any exposure to adoption. It was a completely innocent comment with no harm meant. But still! To make it sound like adoption is the equivalent of standing at the meat counter, scanning the pork chops for the perfect cut, and telling the butcher "I'd like that one please."

She just doesn't know. She doesn't know and how do I explain the complexities... the heart-break of taking your baby away from the only person he's ever known, the indescribable joy of suddenly being a mommy, the way you thank God every day for bringing your baby's birth family into your life, the relationship building and maintenance with your baby's birth family... So I don't. Because it's just a conversation at the dog park.

8 Favorite Things at 8 Months

I had so much fun writing this post that I thought I'd write another!

Here are the things we are loving these days:

1. Pacifier clip. Isaac still loves his Nuk, and this is indispensable in the car. If he drops his Nuk, I can reach back and blindly follow the clip to the pacifier and pop it right back in.

2. Ladybug night light. A few weeks ago, we started seeing some toddler-style tantrums any time Isaac realized it was bed or nap time. This night light that shines constellations on the ceiling worked miracles!

3. Plastic bibs with pockets. Although the pocket can be a bit bulky and irritating at times, it has definitely caught ounces of water that would have ended up in Isaac's lap.

4. Bath toys with holes. Isaac likes to drink from anything that even remotely looks like a cup, so bath toys with holes are a must! He can still pretend to drink, but doesn't get any grimy water in that cute mouth of his.

5. Nesting balls. LOVE THESE! Isaac is currently into holding one in each hand and banging them together...

6. Dish gloves. Eight plus months of washing bottles can wreak havoc on Minnesota winter skin!

7. Round laundry basket. Isaac loves to sit in our round laundry basket. He examines the holes, plays with toys we throw in, and grabs the edges and goes crazy.

8. Free exercise videos On Demand. Pre-Isaac, I used to belong to a fitness club, and went regularly (gotta get the insurance discount!). Since I've gone back to work, I simply don't have the time to drive to the gym, change, work out, change, and drive home. I was excited to find that our cable company offers FREE exercise videos On Demand! They even have some 10 minute workouts that leave me sore the next day. Pretty cool. And FREE!

I'm back! (Hopefully...!)

Ahhhhh. It's very comforting to see the Blogger interface again... =)

I didn't mean to take a break from blogging... it just kind of happened. Didn't have anything to say... then didn't have time... then didn't have the energy... then it's been so long, so it better be good... then no time... then BAM! It's been months since my last post! (A post which has been described to me as NOT an okay post to end on. The contents of a dog's vomit does not equal closure.)

So here I am. Slowly coming out of the fog of sleep deprivation. Isaac is many wonderful things. I can't even explain how much I not only love him, but ENJOY him. Every day I get to wake up and be his mommy all over again. Still can't get over that.

However. Our little one is not a good sleeper. Never has been. First it was the newborn thing. You expect not to sleep, so it's hard, but manageable. Then it was the reflux. That really, really sucked. I'm really only beginning to understand now just how traumatic it was. Then... I don't know. Just plain no sleep.

Finally, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Don't get me wrong! I haven't been living in despair these past 8 months. Quite the opposite. They've been the happiest 8 months of my life. But, I'm finding that happy and fully functioning don't always go together. Blogging was one of the many things that I let slide because I was in survival mode.

If all goes well and I continue to get more sleep and can keep more than one or two things in my mind at a time, I will be posting again. For now, I will leave you with a few pictures of the love(s) of my life.