Here We Grow!

Sleep Training is AMAZING

2011-09-11T19:54:00.003-05:00

Tonight, my son, who has woken up several times a night and required exhausting pre-bedtime rituals for 14 months has officially slept through the night for THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW!!!!

And guess what he did this evening? You'll never believe it. We went through the normal bedtime routine, I put him in his crib, he sat up and watched me leave... and then DIDN'T CRY!! He must have layed right down, snuggled in, and fallen asleep! With no tears! Oh my gosh. You can probably tell by the excessive amount of exclamation points I'm using, but I could not be happier.

I will never take sleep for granted again. These past few days have been heavenly.

Sleep Training Sucks

2011-09-02T21:27:00.002-05:00

Cry it out? Can't do it. Or can I...???

For 13 months, I have been firm in my resolve to not let my baby cry himself to sleep. Doesn't it seem horribly cruel? Yes. But does it work...?? Until now, my answer has been- I don't care! Even if it works, is it worth it?

However. Isaac is now a 30 pound 13 1/2 month old. Our bedtime routine up until now has been to take a bath, get into jammies, read books in the rocking chair, turn on a lullaby mix, and then Mommy walks, bounces, jiggles, runs, and jumps Isaac to sleep. (I only go through this rigamarole because he won't let me rock him. Rocking hasn't worked for months. Bouncing around the room like a crazy person has.) Up until 3 weeks ago, it was working. I only had to do the walking/bouncing/jiggling/running/jumping for 2-4 minutes before Isaac was drowsy enough to put in his crib without screaming to get out again. Then something changed and nothing I did was working. I am pretty darn strong by now (if I do say so myself), but I can no longer hold a 30 lb baby for an hour while walking/running. Something has to change.

My first idea was to sit in his room until he fell asleep. So he can learn to self-soothe but not feel abandoned. Perfect compromise, right? No. I sat silently in the rocking chair across the room and he did every silly thing he could think of in the crib. Bouncing on his knees, smashing his face into the rails, saying "Ah! AH! Ah? Ahhhhh????" I could see this was not leading us in the right direction.

The next night I tried a slightly later bedtime. I prayed that this would be enough and I wouldn't have to change anything else (for now, anyway). WRONG. After going through our routine only to deal with a wild baby arm honking my nose and grabbing my hair and doing any and everything else possible to keep himself awake, I put him in his crib and left.

Baby screams. Mommy's heart breaks. Daddy soothes Mommy. Mommy goes in to soothe baby. Leaves. Baby screams. Mommy's heart breaks... rinse and repeat.

Despite the broken heart, it's actually going fairly well. I'm doing a modified version of Ferber's approach; baby cries for set time, I go in and reassure him. (I don't let myself pick him up... I put a hand on his back or hold his little hand) If I think he'll fall asleep, I stay with him for awhile. If it's clear he's not going to fall asleep, I leave again and let him cry a few minutes longer than last time. Go in, touch him... repeat until he's asleep. So far each night it has taken under an hour (!!) and my arm muscles are thanking me for this new plan.

Tonight we try this approach during the night time wakings, too. It's time to get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time...

Convincing Myself

2011-08-22T12:19:00.003-05:00

A few days ago I received mail with this letterhead:

School is starting! Crack open that crisp new planner! Log into district e-mail! Prepare your hands for constant washing/santizing!

I should start by saying that I do love my job AND I'm only going to be working three days a week this year instead of five. (I'm hoping for the perfect mix of home/work life, grown-up time and baby time, paperwork and housework...)

But.

This means it's official! Summer is over! Isaac's second summer ever! Gone! Just like that. So in order to feel a little less melancholy and panicky about it all, I've decided to list some of the things I love about fall. Because I do love fall.

* The way the sky becomes slate blue and looks lower, almost, against the autumn leaves

* Hoodies!

* Bonfires

* Actually being able to breathe when you get in a car that's been sitting outside for any period of time.

* Open windows

* That fall smell. You know the one.

* Pumpkin everything

* Cool nights and crunchy leaves

* Fall's seasonal beers

* That new-school-year tingle. This year I'll be an even better teacher! The sky is the limit! Go me! (Until the darn paperwork starts piling up…)

* Our TV shows come back on!

* Lazy football Sundays

Okay Fall, I'm ready. Bring it on!

His Turn

2011-07-22T20:19:00.004-05:00

Before Jonathan read my last post, I asked him what he remembered most about Isaac's hospital stay. He talked, I transcribed, so these are his words:

I remember:

* the waiting room.

* that we got to know a lot of people really fast.

* I got a work call and wondered "Why am I answering this?"

* thinking we were taking a lot of pictures, but looking back on it, I wish we would have taken more.

* changing Isaac's diaper for the first time. Black poo.

* going to Subway and also McDonalds. Remember? We went driving around and couldn't find a restaurant, so we sat in the parking lot at McDonalds. I had to calm you down.

[We had a side bar here. After a brief discussion, we figured out it was actually the previous night that he had to "calm me down." That was the night that Lexie had spent much of the night with Isaac and I was so scared that she would change her mind and it would be all over.]

* when we stayed at the hospital you were always at the ready when he cried. I was in a fog and would wake up when you woke up but had no idea what had to be done or why I was being woken up at two in the morning. Then the sudden realization that this is going to be the way it is for a long time.

* leaving the hospital. I think I was probably the most emotional person there.

* I was glad I didn't know how bad the c-section was. And then I found out later that you had been nervous. Ignorance is bliss.

* Picking out his name last minute. We saw him and thought, he's born now, he needs a name. We picked it in the NICU waiting room.

A Family of Three

2011-07-22T11:56:00.004-05:00

July 23, 2010, my heart was in my throat as we said goodbye to Isaac's birth family and drove away from the hospital as a family of three. Today, he's sitting in his high chair, gobbling up fajita meat, pointing at Cody and saying "Gog." How in the world did we get from there to here so quickly?!

Because Isaac joined our family in such a whirlwind-ish manner, I never sat down and recorded all the details that made his birth and hospital stay so unforgettable. This post gives the nuts and bolts, but doesn't even begin to describe what it was really like.

Now seems the perfect time.

(Disclaimer: this walk down memory lane is very, very long. It was fun for me to write, but probably not as fun for you to read, so if you don't make it all the way through, I completely understand.)

I remember:

* pulling into the hospital parking lot and seeing Lexie's parents walking outside. They were holding hands and everything about them said, "Whatever this day brings, we will get through it together."

* rounding the corner into Lexie's room and seeing her standing there in her dressing gown, looking much, much more pregnant than she had just a few days before.

* Jonathan making lots and lots of trips to the coffee machine.

* Lexie's blue lips and violent shivers from the epidural. I felt helpless and awkward and so sorry that she was uncomfortable.

* every inch of the waiting room.

* ordering pizza to share with Lexie's parents and grandparents. Labor had slowed and we weren't sure when the little guy was going to come out. Turns out we ate as Lexie was having her emergency c-section.

* losing my appetite and getting a sick feeling in my stomach as I watched the clock. The doctor had said the c-section would take 20 minutes. Why had it already been 40?

* walking to the nurse's station to ask for an update. They stopped talking when I approached. They told me that the baby was "out," but they seemed reserved and told me no more.

* the sinking feeling when the nurse came in and said there were complications and the baby was in the NICU. When I asked if he was all right, she hesitated and said, "I will let the doctor explain."

* pacing the hallway in the NICU as the nurses tried for 45 minutes to find a vein they could use to replenish his fluids. The huge wave of relief when their "one last try" actually worked.

* seeing another family with blankets and pillows camped out in the NICU waiting room. It looked like they were old pros. My heart broke for them.

* the nurse asking me what formula we were planning to give him. Uhhhh. Hadn't thought about that. She recommended Enfamil or Similac. I said, if it's all the same, how about Enfamil since we have coupons for it at home.

* a nurse stopping by to admire Isaac and asking me his name. There is something special about the first time you tell your child's name to someone. It's real now. He's here and he has this name that we gave him.

* holding my son (my son!) until midnight and making the very difficult decision to go home and get some sleep while he was being extremely well cared for by the NICU nurses.

* stopping at Cub foods on the way to the hospital (what else is open at 5:30 in the morning?) and wondering, what do you get for the woman who has just spent an entire day in unspeakable pain, birthing your child?

* Lexie, in her wheelchair, holding Isaac for the first time. I knew right then that I not only loved him, but her too.

* waiting and waiting and waiting for Isaac to pee for the first time. He waited until the very end of the "normal range" they gave us.

* thinking that the hospital should use better fabric softener for their baby blankets.

* having to request a pacifier. (I thought they just gave you those greenish newborn ones...) The nurse brought out a Nuk brand pacifier, still in it's plastic and cardboard packaging from the store. We've been single-handedly supporting that company ever since.

* wondering whether we should refer to the baby as "Isaac" (the name we chose for him) or "Jacob" (the name Lexie gave him). We couldn't decide, so Isaac was "him," "the baby," "the little guy," etc. for three days. =)

* one time in particular when Lexie and I were alone in the hospital room for awhile. That was a special hour for me; I felt like I was really beginning to get to know her.

* driving alone to the hospital one morning (Jonathan went back to work so he could save his time off for when we were home) and pulling over on a dirt road between two corn fields because I felt like I was going to throw up. Even though I felt like I was coping well with the stress and excitement, my body gave me away.

* trying to go out to eat somewhere during Isaac's last night in the hospital. We wanted to give Lexie some time alone with him before he spent the night with us. However, it was late, and the only places open were bars that didn't serve food! We ended up sitting in a dark parking lot eating McDonald's and killing time.

* sitting down in the room the hospital let us use on Isaac's last night, looking at him all swaddled up and asleep in his bassinet, and wondering.... now what? We mostly just stared at him.

* "waking up" (only I don't think I was ever asleep) every 10 minutes or so to make sure the swaddle hadn't come loose and suffocated him.

* Jonathan and I waking up the next morning with the same heavy feeling in the pit of our stomach. Time for Isaac to go home. Our happiest day was going to be one of Lexie's saddest.

* going to Target because we forgot to bring clothes to take the baby home in!! It suddenly occurred to me that he can't go in the car seat swaddled and I don't think he should just wear the diaper and cotton shirts he's lived in for the past three days... I felt like such an idiot.

* tears, tears, and more tears as Lexie said good-bye and left the hospital. It was as heartbreaking as we had imagined. How could we take Isaac away from the one person who had loved and taken care of him for over 9 months?

* how Isaac's eyes grew ten sizes larger as we brought him into the great outdoors for the first time and loaded him into the car. He had this look on his face like "What. The. Hell."

* saying to Jonathan as we drove home, "So. There's a baby in our car..."

One Year Ago

2011-07-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

One year ago today, Jonathan and I innocently thought we were headed north for a plain old camping trip. We had no clue that our lives were about about to change forever. (Yes, I know that sounds dramatic, but yes, it WAS dramatic!)

It was probably around 10 or 11 am when my phone rang and our adoption counselor said "You're going to want to pull over..."

What do I remember about that day? I remember the parking space we chose at the gas station we stopped at while I spoke with our adoption counselor. I remember the numb, tamped-down excitement, out-of-body feeling I had when we told our friends why we weren't setting up our tent. I remember standing on the lakeside trail, dialing Lexie's number for the first time. I remember Jonathan pacing back and forth on the dock, calling his mom with the news. I remember watching a little family flip their canoe and fall in the lake while we were standing there, taking turns calling our parents. I remember thinking, "Pay attention to everything, because this could be the beginning of your baby's adoption story." And it was.

These past few weeks have left me feeling very sentimental as Isaac's one year birthday approaches. Please forgive me if the next few posts are particularly sappy.

UP, here we come!

2011-07-04T20:55:00.005-05:00

Two days after school was out, we packed up the car until it was bursting at the seams and headed to Upper Michigan for 7 days! It was a wonderful week filled with family, friends, and Lake Superior. I'll let the pictures do the talking...

A picnic at the park while Grandma and Grandpa are stuck at work

What? These CDs were here, I swear.

Family picture. Isaac was too fascinated by the sand to be bothered with pictures.

Grandma, you are so funny!

First time in Lake Superior!

Ooooooohhh! SAND!

I think he likes the view.

Napping peacefully in the tent.

Hanging out with Uncle Marc!

Who wants a kiss?

Playing with Anders, Kenzie, and Auntie Melissa! Miss you guys!

Kenzie enjoying her much-anticipated s'more!

An attempt at a picture of the kiddos

And another...

And another. (Don't worry, Isaac didn't fall off the swing.)

Sweet boy, tuckered out.

Visits With Isaac's Birth Family

2011-06-21T21:10:00.013-05:00

First visit: Photo shoot

Isaac's godmother and one of my favorite people in the world, Kelsey, gave us the gift of a newborn photo shoot. When Isaac was only 12 days old, Natalie Champa Jennings came to my mother-in-law's house and worked her magic! Lexie (Isaac's birth mom), her parents, and her nieces were a part of that day as well.

We debated whether or not to invite Lexie. Was it too soon? Our hospital goodbyes were still fresh in my mind... would seeing Isaac rip apart open wounds? I spoke with our adoption counselor, and she encouraged me to ask Lexie directly. Since Lexie and I had been in close contact since Isaac's birth, this seemed natural. Turns out, she was over the moon about the chance to see Isaac. I still worried that it was too soon and Lexie would hurt afterwards. In the end, it was a very positive experience. From everything I heard from Lexie and her family afterwards, it seems as though it was wonderful for Lexie, too.

Second visit: Restaurant

Our second visit was at a favorite haunt of Lexie's family. Technically I suppose it's more of a bar than a restaurant, but "bar" and "infant" don't sound quite right together... =) It was great. A whole crew was there; Lexie, her parents, grandparents, aunt and uncle, nieces, and us, of course. We participated in a meat raffle, had the greatest cinnamon roll of all time, and Lexie's family got in lots of cuddle time. Isaac was still so young... he slept most of the time and snuggled right in to whomever was holding him.

Third visit: Chuck E. Cheese

We picked Chuck E. Cheese, not for Isaac (he was only 4 months old, for goodness sake!), but for Lexie's nieces. Lexie, her parents, grandparents, and nieces came to this visit. The girls played game after game and gorged themselves on pizza. It was the perfect meeting place. Close to our house (so Isaac could nap in his bed both pre- and post-visit), entertaining for his cousins, and quiet at 11 am. Since this was a December visit, Christmas gifts were exchanged. Lexie gave Isaac a book from Hallmark, read by her recorded voice. It's called "All the Ways I Love You." Thinking about it now still makes me tear up. What a perfect gift. We read it almost every night and Isaac loves it. When he was younger, he stroked his hair every time he heard her voice, which was a gesture he reserved for the comforting moments of drinking his bottle. Those are the only two times I ever saw him exhibit this endearing behavior.

Fourth visit: Baptism

As far as visits go, this was much less satisfying. It was a busy day that involved getting dressed up, attending a packed church service, being surrounded by a gaggle of family members, and going out for brunch at a table that stretched almost the entire length of the restaurant. I am so thankful that Lexie was able to be a part of this day, but I remember very little about her interactions with Isaac. To be honest, I don't think she was able to have many. One thing that stands out, however, is that Isaac's birth father was at the church service. We have many cute pictures of him with Isaac from that day, but I don't feel comfortable posting them since I have never asked his permission.

Fifth visit: Library

Our most recent visit was at our local library. Sounds weird, but it was a perfect locale for a Minnesotan baby of 9 months. Since Isaac was getting around on his own by this time (albeit in a funny looking way... he was a champion roller and could adjust his angle to roll wherever he wanted to go), Isaac would have had less patience with a standard restaurant visit. But, Minnesota weather did not permit an outdoor park visit, so... what do we do? Well, our city recently built a brand new library with toys for kids to explore and reservable meeting rooms. I reserved a room and we met Lexie and her parents at, yes, the library. They played with Isaac at the toys for awhile and then we went in to the meeting room where there were couches and plenty of floor room for Isaac to do his thing. It was fun to see him smiling and flirting with them.

Sixth visit: Como Zoo

Sadly, we forgot our camera on this visit. I was so proud of myself for remembering sun screen, sippy cup, lunch paraphernalia, etc... Our camera was the only casualty. Lexie, her parents, and nieces, joined us at the extremely crowded Como Zoo in St. Paul. Parking was the biggest challenge, but it was smooth sailing after that. We ate at a table outside, enjoyed the beautiful weather, and they had a chance to see Isaac doing big boy things like feeding himself finger foods. We brought the stroller, but Isaac was passed from person to person for most of the visit anyway =)

Seventh visit: Scheduled for early July at a park (hopefully it won't be raining). Isaac's birth father is planning to be there.

Although our original contact agreement dictated 3 visits a year, Isaac came to us from such loving and open people that we have been able to do more. More about our thoughts on open adoption (particularly this open adoption) later. Tired.

Just a Few Things I Love About Isaac

2011-05-23T22:25:00.003-05:00

*His curly hair. Pictures do not do this curly head justice. It's adorable.

*He sleeps with both arms thrown over his head. Sometimes one little hand rests on his eyes. Makes me melt.

*Isaac has begun sharing his most prized possessions with others. (Usually something we really want like a dripping Nuk or mushy puff that has already been in his mouth) When you say "Thank you!" he giggles, looks away shyly, and looks so darn proud of himself!

*His sense of humor. If I am turned away from Isaac and he wants to make me laugh, he either shrieks extremely loudly (if you've met him, you know exactly what I mean) or does a fakey giggle. When I look at him, his eyes twinkle and he does it again. And again. And again. And again.

*When he hears people clapping on TV, he claps too. =)

*His deep curiosity of all things adult. If you give him something that is plush, painted in primary colors, or sold in any store with the words "R Us" in it... he can take it or leave it. He does have some favorite toys that are, in fact, meant to be toys. HOWEVER. If you give him something with screws and springs and levers, he's in heaven.

*Isaac loves being outside. When we come home at the end of the day, I always let Cody out. If I have Isaac in my arms, he throws a huge fit if I close the door when I'm done. We HAVE TO go outside and throw the ball for Cody, play in the grass, or just sit on the deck and pick at the screws in the wood.

*When Isaac hears something he likes and he wants it to keep going, he says "Uh." If you do the thing again, he'll say "uh." This can go on indefinitely. If he really likes what you're doing, he'll say "Uh. Uh. Uh! UH UH UH UH UH UH!"

Learning

2011-05-16T21:03:00.005-05:00

If you don't already know this, I'm an early childhood special education teacher. I work with a wide variety of kids, all of whom need extra support of some kind to be successful at school, in the community, etc.

Last Friday, one of my students looked at me and said something that made me very proud of him. This one little phrase demonstrated many of the skills he has developed over the past year. Here are just a few:

1. Using language to comment on his environment

2. Using a descriptor word

3. Demonstrating an understanding of an early mathematical concept (big vs. little)

4. Identification of body parts

What did he say? Well, he pointed at me and said "Big nose!" Other people have commented on my nose before, but I can't say I've ever been this happy about it... =)

How to ride a bike

2011-05-11T19:25:00.000-05:00

Looking forward to the day I can teach Isaac how to ride a bike... hopefully it goes better than this.

- Jonathan

Three Words

2011-05-07T21:31:00.003-05:00

I can't blog-nore Mother's Day. (Hey, I just made that up! Get it? Like ignore, but ignore on a blog. Gosh I'm such a dork.)

And I don't want to ignore it. Quite the opposite, actually. I want to talk about how it's my first mother's day, about Isaac's other mommy, about my mom, my husband's mom, my mommy friends, those who are anxiously waiting to become a mom... etc, etc. I don't know where to start!

After sitting here and staring at the screen for much too long, I've decided to say three words about each.

My first mother's day: Blissful and bittersweet.

Isaac's birth mom, Lexie: Wishing her peace.

My mom: There for me.

My husband's mom: Raised wonderful man.

My friends that are mommies: Supported by you.

Those who are still waiting for their baby: Waiting sucks a@#

(especially on Mother's Day)

Nursery Rhymes

2011-05-03T07:43:00.003-05:00

My mother-in-law recently gave me a copy of "The Real Mother Goose." She warned me that the book contains the original versions of the nursery rhymes and some are not exactly what a child should hear before bed. Or ever.

Here are a few of my favorites.

Goosey Goosey Gander

Goosey, goosey, gander,

Whither dost though wander?

Upstairs and downstairs

And in my lady's chamber.

There I met an old man

Who wouldn't say his prayers;

I took him by the left leg,

And threw him down the stairs.

WHAT?! Threw him down the stairs? Seems a little harsh, don't you think? My favorite part is how they specify which leg this poor man was grabbed by. I can picture the author hunched over his desk in the candlelight, scribbling out the word "right" with his quill pen and muttering, "Left. Yes, yes. It was definitely the left."

And then there's this one. The one they liked so much, they published it on the back cover of the book.

Ladybird

Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home!

Your house is on fire, your children all gone,

All but one, and her name is Ann,

And she crept under the pudding pan.

Sweet dreams kids! Dream of homes and nests destroyed by fire and lonely starving children wandering the streets. Oh, and don't forget about Ann who is trapped beneath a pudding pan and probably about to die from smoke inhalation. Night night!

This book will probably get "lost" before Isaac is old enough to read and/or question why some of the rhymes end differently each time...!

Catch Up

2011-05-03T06:34:00.009-05:00

Since I was MIA for about five months, you missed out on some cute Isaac pictures. Here are some of the fun things we've done since late October.

Isaac as Charlie Brown for Halloween.

At Grandma and Grandpa's house for Thanksgiving

Helping Daddy and Mommy beat Grandma and Grandpa at euchre

The finalization of Isaac's adoption! We joked that this better be the last time he winds up in court.

Meeting Santa for the first time!

Hanging out with his buddy Drew at our friend's cabin

Jonathan's got his hands full =)

First swim!!

Baptism

Lounging in the hotel bed during our trip to California

Family pic in Sausalito, CA

Another California picture! (You can tell by the green grass...)

We visited the U of MN campus and took Isaac to the site of our first date, Annie's Parlor. We were trying to take a self portrait with Annie's sign in the background... but all we got was the "s" and the bottom of the "e." Oh well.

At Como Zoo. It's hard to read, but Isaac is conveniently posing by a mural that says "My first trip to the rainforest."

It was impossible for me to get Isaac AND the animals in the picture, so you'll have to trust me when I say that he was in awe of some very tall giraffes.

At the dog park. Yes, we still try to pay attention to Cody every now and then.

Meeting our new little friend, Owen!!

And, just for fun, putting a baby in a diaper box.

Meant To Be

2011-04-22T20:42:00.005-05:00

There are times in life when it's hard to swallow the old adage "everything happens for a reason." When your life has been turned upside down and you're in the middle of dark days with no end in sight... "everything happens for a reason" can be the last thing you want to hear.

The story I want to share is not like that at all. This is one of the happy, gives-you-goosebumps kind of stories. An instance where it's easy to believe that everything happens for a reason.

When Isaac was born, we spent almost every waking minute (and some sleeping ones) in the hospital. Lexie wanted it that way. I couldn't believe it, in fact. I kept looking for hints or subtle cues that she wanted some alone time with Isaac, or that she was feeling resentful of our presence... nothing. She kept saying over and over that we are his parents and we should be there. Lexie even encouraged us to invite friends and family to meet Isaac. Her selflessness floored me. I know for a fact that if I were in her position, I would not be able to be as open and welcoming as she was. Anyway. I digress.

At one point, a nurse came into Lexie's room and asked us for the name of Isaac's future pediatrician. I gave her the name of a doctor with whom I had scheduled a quick "meet and greet" appointment just days ago. (The agency had suggested we find a pediatrician before baby came home, so I blindly chose a pediatric clinic and took the earliest appointment with the first available doctor. )

When I told the nurse that the doctor's name was Dr. Richardson, Lexie said, "That's funny. My pediatrician when I was little was a Dr. Richardson." Suddenly I remembered a conversation that the doctor and I had during our meet and greet. When I told him what hospital the baby would be delivered at, he lit up and sang it's praises. Dr. Richardson said he used to do rounds there when he worked at a nearby clinic. A clinic in a town an hour away from where we live and where he currently practices medicine.

A clinic in the town that Lexie grew up in.

Later that day, Lexie asked her mom if she remembered Dr, Richardson's first name. It's an uncommon one, so she did remember it. Sure enough, Lexie's childhood doctor and the pediatrician we randomly chose for Isaac are one and the same.

Does everything happen for a reason? I don't know. Did the road of infertility lead us to a little boy that is obviously meant to be a part of our family? Sure did.

My Wine Rack Has Been Repurposed

2011-04-20T19:48:00.002-05:00

It is now a drying rack for bibs. =)

Hmmm

2011-04-09T21:44:00.006-05:00

Thanks to longer days, warmer weather, and an older baby that doesn't need an evening nap (correction: doesn't TAKE an evening nap), we manage to get to the dog park a bit more these days. Thursday was gorgeous, so Isaac, Cody, and I loaded into the Rav4 after work and headed to the park. I caught up with a mom about my age pushing her toddler in a stroller and we ended up walking together and chatting. She's pregnant with her second child, so when the conversation turned to pregnancy, labor, etc, it came up that we adopted Isaac. She says "Oh! I really want a girl, so if this baby isn't a girl, then I want to adopt to make SURE that we get a girl."

Sigh.

We were having such a nice conversation. Why'd she have to say something like that? The comment irritated me then and irritates me now, even though I keep trying to remind myself, it's just her ignorance talking. She hasn't had any exposure to adoption. It was a completely innocent comment with no harm meant. But still! To make it sound like adoption is the equivalent of standing at the meat counter, scanning the pork chops for the perfect cut, and telling the butcher "I'd like that one please."

She just doesn't know. She doesn't know and how do I explain the complexities... the heart-break of taking your baby away from the only person he's ever known, the indescribable joy of suddenly being a mommy, the way you thank God every day for bringing your baby's birth family into your life, the relationship building and maintenance with your baby's birth family... So I don't. Because it's just a conversation at the dog park.

8 Favorite Things at 8 Months

2011-04-05T21:12:00.005-05:00

I had so much fun writing this post that I thought I'd write another!

Here are the things we are loving these days:

1. Pacifier clip. Isaac still loves his Nuk, and this is indispensable in the car. If he drops his Nuk, I can reach back and blindly follow the clip to the pacifier and pop it right back in.

2. Ladybug night light. A few weeks ago, we started seeing some toddler-style tantrums any time Isaac realized it was bed or nap time. This night light that shines constellations on the ceiling worked miracles!

3. Plastic bibs with pockets. Although the pocket can be a bit bulky and irritating at times, it has definitely caught ounces of water that would have ended up in Isaac's lap.

4. Bath toys with holes. Isaac likes to drink from anything that even remotely looks like a cup, so bath toys with holes are a must! He can still pretend to drink, but doesn't get any grimy water in that cute mouth of his.

5. Nesting balls. LOVE THESE! Isaac is currently into holding one in each hand and banging them together...

6. Dish gloves. Eight plus months of washing bottles can wreak havoc on Minnesota winter skin!

7. Round laundry basket. Isaac loves to sit in our round laundry basket. He examines the holes, plays with toys we throw in, and grabs the edges and goes crazy.

8. Free exercise videos On Demand. Pre-Isaac, I used to belong to a fitness club, and went regularly (gotta get the insurance discount!). Since I've gone back to work, I simply don't have the time to drive to the gym, change, work out, change, and drive home. I was excited to find that our cable company offers FREE exercise videos On Demand! They even have some 10 minute workouts that leave me sore the next day. Pretty cool. And FREE!

I'm back! (Hopefully...!)

2011-04-02T22:14:00.008-05:00

Ahhhhh. It's very comforting to see the Blogger interface again... =)

I didn't mean to take a break from blogging... it just kind of happened. Didn't have anything to say... then didn't have time... then didn't have the energy... then it's been so long, so it better be good... then no time... then BAM! It's been months since my last post! (A post which has been described to me as NOT an okay post to end on. The contents of a dog's vomit does not equal closure.)

So here I am. Slowly coming out of the fog of sleep deprivation. Isaac is many wonderful things. I can't even explain how much I not only love him, but ENJOY him. Every day I get to wake up and be his mommy all over again. Still can't get over that.

However. Our little one is not a good sleeper. Never has been. First it was the newborn thing. You expect not to sleep, so it's hard, but manageable. Then it was the reflux. That really, really sucked. I'm really only beginning to understand now just how traumatic it was. Then... I don't know. Just plain no sleep.

Finally, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Don't get me wrong! I haven't been living in despair these past 8 months. Quite the opposite. They've been the happiest 8 months of my life. But, I'm finding that happy and fully functioning don't always go together. Blogging was one of the many things that I let slide because I was in survival mode.

If all goes well and I continue to get more sleep and can keep more than one or two things in my mind at a time, I will be posting again. For now, I will leave you with a few pictures of the love(s) of my life.

Oh Cody.

2010-10-31T21:24:00.004-05:00

What do baby socks and a ten dollar bill have in common?

They have both been spotted in Cody's puke during the past week.

(Just in case you're curious, we rescued the ten dollar bill but cut our losses with the socks)

It Wasn't So Bad

2010-10-18T20:53:00.004-05:00

Guess where I went today? Work! Yep. For eight whole hours!

And it wasn't that bad. =)

I was lucky to have almost three months home with Isaac. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before. Sweet, difficult, nerve-wracking, cozy, cabin fever-y, frustrating, exhausting, dreamy. Would you believe me if I said it's already almost one big blur?!

The anticipation of going back to work was much worse than actually going back. In reality, it was... comfortable. The substitute teacher and my teaching assistants did a SUPERB job while I was gone! Although I thought about Isaac throughout the day, I did not worry about him one little bit. He will be spending the days with one of his doting grandmas and I can't even describe the peace of mind this gives me.

Plus I know that each day I get to come home to my smiley (or screaming. I'm sure we'll have those days too) little boy, spastic dog, and husband who's the greatest partner I could ever ask for. Life is good.

Because It's Been Awhile

2010-10-16T21:48:00.009-05:00

Here are a few quick pictures from the past couple weeks.

Isaac and his great grandma. Isaac's cousin calls her "G.G." I think we'll do that too... it's adorable!

Isaac, Cousin Shay, and G.G.

Isaac wearing big boy pants

Sleeping at the apple orchard

Too cute for words

At the dog park with my two boys

Fall day

The Moment We Knew

2010-10-11T20:50:00.006-05:00

Obviously life has changed. I haven't slept for more than three hours in a row (and that only happened once. A blissful flukey nap) since July 20th. When I curl my hair I smell burning formula. I feel everything more intensely than ever before. It blows my mind that Jonathan and I are in charge of helping Isaac become a strong, compassionate, intelligent and (most importantly) happy person.

But with all of that said, I don't think it had really sunk in until this past Sunday night. Isaac was sleeping and Jonathan and I were watching the movie Hangover. We'd seen it before... pre-Isaac. Both of us thought it was funny, entertaining, etc, etc. Still do. But we noticed something completely different this time around, through the parent lens.

If you've seen it, do you remember the baby they find in a closet? And the baby waited until morning to cry? Remember how they carry the baby around in a front carrier all day and she's blissfully happy? Never needing to change positions or nap? And how they never feed her? And she's happy? And then they put an adult seat belt on her with no car seat? And leave her in the car alone with the windows cracked? And she watches bad guys bash their car in? I KNOW it's just a stupid movie, but I kept going back and forth between rolling my eyes ("Yeah right. THAT would never fly.") and wanting to reach into the tv and take care of this fake baby. And I wasn't the only one. Jonathan kept exclaiming over the way they were treating her. Realizing how different our movie experience was this time around, Jonathan said "Wow, it really is different when you have a kid!"

I guess you know it's for real when you watch a movie that's supposed to be about binge drinking, bachelor parties, and debauchery and all you can say is "But that poor baby!"

10 Things I've Grown to Love These Past Ten Weeks

2010-10-03T21:59:00.022-05:00

1. Sleeping gowns. It is such a relief to not have to mess with snaps in the middle of the night.

2. CD of womb sounds. When Isaac was teeny tiny we could turn this on and he was instantly lulled to sleep. Well, some of the time.

3. Little Noses saline spray and nose sucker thingie. Isaac had his first cold early on and couldn't even eat because he was so stuffed up and felt like he was drowning. He still gets congested during the night sometimes, so we use these a lot.

4. Baby carrier. I used the Moby when he was tiny, but now I prefer the Baby Bjorn. I wear him hiking, to the dog park, shopping, and just around the house when he refuses to be put down but I have things I need to do.

5. Aden and Anais swaddling blankets. Love, love, love, love, LOVE these. They are the only swaddling blankets that actually fit him after he was one week old. Plus, they double as a great stroller cover when he falls asleep. Perfect breathable material for a summer baby who loves to be swaddled!

6. Baby tub with hammock. Slippery baby problem solved!

7. Vibrating chair. For the first 6 weeks of Isaac's life, this kept us sane. He LOVED it. We still take it everywhere with us, although the magic seems to have worn off.

8. Swaddle Me blankets. These keep my baby warm and cozy at night and prevent him from waking up by punching himself in the face. Also gave me great peace of mind because I was paranoid that the swaddling blankets would come undone, cover his face, and smother him.

9. Nuks. Oh how I love thee.

10. Netflix. I have discovered shows like Dexter, United States of Tara, and Dead Like Me through the wonder of Netflix. When you spend at least five hours a day feeding your baby, you have to have SOMETHING to do! Especially if he has reflux and has fussy feedings and you need two hands to make it a successful eating experience. =)

One of the Scary Parts

2010-09-23T21:20:00.005-05:00

I am fully aware that I make our adoption story sound like it came straight from a Lisa Frank folder. You know, unicorns, dolphins, and rainbows surrounded by dreamy fuzzy edges. I don't know how to tell it any other way. It's a whirlwind-y story that ends with me becoming a mommy of the most beautiful little man ever. Nothing can beat that. And, if that isn't enough, we can't imagine a more incredible birth family to be going through it with.

However that doesn't mean that there haven't been difficult moments. One night in particular stands out from the blur of memories that those four days in the hospital have become.

In the hospital that Isaac was born, mothers are encouraged to keep the baby in their room with them overnight. New parents can practice parent stuff with the safety net of the nurses nearby. This is, however, assuming that the mother in the hospital is the mother that will be caring for the baby when he leaves.

The first night, Isaac slept in the NIC-U. The second night, however, he was out. And needed to sleep somewhere. And Lexie wanted him to stay in her room. All night. Without us.

As the hours ticked by and it became later and later, my stomach was in knots. I was worried that she wouldn't be able to tend to his basic needs during the middle of the night... she could barely walk to the bathroom due to the horrific c-section she had gone through. In fact, she had just gotten the colostomy bag removed a half hour before and had attempted her first steps out of bed. It was not reassuring.

But mostly? I was scared. to. death. that she would fall even more deeply in love with Isaac and we would never see him again. I cried on the way home. Felt like I was going to throw up the whole way to the hospital the next morning.

Obviously we know this story ends happily. The minute I walked into Lexie's room, I knew everything was okay. Better than okay. Happily-ever-after kind of stuff.

But it sure was a scary night.

To The North Shore We Go!

2010-09-20T21:55:00.019-05:00

Last year around this time, we made plans with our friends Zack and Marissa to do a 2010 fall camping trip. We set a date, booked the site, and put it in our calendars. Little did we know that when the time came, we would have an eight-week old baby with us! In fact, I still can't quite believe it!

All week I watched the weather channel with a sinking heart. First they said the temps would be highs in the low 60s, lows in the mid 40s. That was okay with us. We could bundle Isaac up, bring the appropriate gear, share body heat at night... that would work. With each day that went by, the projected temps dropped by a few degrees... until the low was THIRTY! Okay. That's cold enough to snow! The campsite we were supposed to stay in is a cart-in site, meaning that your car is half a mile away and that is the closest indoor option.

We didn't feel comfortable putting an eight week old baby into that scenario overnight, so we tweaked our plans a bit. We spent the days at the campsite with Zack and Marissa (who braved the cold and spent the night in their tent) and then went to a nearby hotel to sleep.

Oh, it was such a wonderful weekend! Isaac began to truly smile while we were there (I even have witnesses! Marissa can vouch for me=) and it was so fun to spend time together as a family. Lake Superior always rejuvenates me and this was no exception. Here are a few pictures from our trip:

Here we all are! Our family of four, headed to the North Shore of Minnesota.

Daddy and Isaac on the porch of our motel

The pack mule... er, Jonathan carrying all our junk to the campsite. Since I was wearing the baby, Jonathan insisted on carrying pretty much everything else. And tying the dog to his waist.

Beautiful hike

Isaac sleeping peacefully on Mommy's chest

Our little family on a hidden lake at Tettegouche State Park

Mid-hike meal

Cody did his part. He packed out Isaac's poopy diaper. (HA!! Don't worry... we only tortured him long enough to take this picture. And maybe a few others.)

Isaac loved cuddling with Marissa

Baby napping on Daddy

All bundled up

Zack, the chef, cooking up some pancakes and sausage for breakfast. YUM!

Wise Words

2010-09-16T09:05:00.005-05:00

I'm about to share the best parenting advice I have gotten so far. (And no, it's not "sleep when the baby sleeps.")

Melissa has been my best friend since the days before lockers, bras, and contact lenses. Our friendship has grown and changed with us from the awkward middle school days through high school, separate colleges, marriages, homes two states away, a doctorate (hers, not mine=), and now children. I love her.

She was in town a few weeks ago and we spent a wonderful day together. At one point, we were talking about advice the doctor had given me regarding developing good sleep habits for Isaac... "Put him down while he's still drowsy." I was saying that I couldn't picture that working for him at that time. She said, "And the thing is, some days it will work and some days it won't."

That simple statement, not even meant to be "advice," has stayed with me ever since and has been a huge comfort for me more times than I can count. Not just about sleep, but about everything. Having that perspective has helped me let go of some of the panic or helplessness I feel when things aren't picture perfect. If Isaac is screaming and nothing I do is helping... it's not because I'm failing him as a mom and it's also not a sign that every day is going to be like that. It's just... some days it works and some days it doesn't.

This and That

2010-09-13T22:11:00.005-05:00

It's been awhile! Here are some random bits of information.

1. Isaac is growing, growing, growing! He's 8 weeks tomorrow and already almost 14 pounds...! He's got the kind of cheeks you can't resist kissing ALL THE TIME. I think I would be embarrassed at how huge the number is if I ever counted how many kisses I give him each day.

2. I've noticed that there's no such thing as "just" anymore. As in, "I need eggs. I'll just run to the store." Or, "My closet's empty. I'll just do some laundry." Or, "I need a shower. I'll just take one." Jonathan and I find that we are still doing the same things we did before Isaac, they just take three times as long and lots of extra thought and preparation!

3. Sometimes I panic at how fast time is going. I am hyper aware of each cuddle, stroller ride, and small hand grabbing my hair. I'm nostalgic for things that are still happening =)

4. Isaac has officially moved into his own bedroom. Although it was helpful to have him right next to me in the beginning, it has been a good move for all. I didn't realize how much I missed sitting in bed with a book before falling asleep.

5. We had our first family camping trip last weekend! I will definitely post pictures, but that takes more time than I am willing to spend at the moment, so I'll do it later. Isaac was a champ. In fact, he LOVED it. I'm not sure if it was the waves or the cool weather, but he was in his element.

6. I am tired but deeply content. Life is good.

What Were You Doing at 4:10 pm Today?

2010-08-25T23:10:00.005-05:00

Me? Oh, not much. Just celebrating the fact that Isaac's ADOPTION IS FINAL!!

Woo hoo!!

Actually, "final" probably isn't the right word. I think that's what I'm supposed to say after we have our court hearing. But for all intensive purposes, he is ours forever. Lexie signed the consent form exactly 10 business days ago at 4:10 pm, so the just-kidding-I-changed-my-mind period has passed.

We celebrated by mowing the lawn, doing the dishes, and successfully putting a baby to sleep after only trying for an hour or so. =)

Now we are going to kick back, watch one of our favorite tv shows, and maybe even have an adult beverage of some sort.

As long as the baby doesn't wake up, that is...

Peace

2010-08-20T14:56:00.004-05:00

Newborn Pictures

2010-08-16T19:48:00.015-05:00

I didn't think it was possible, but Isaac looks even more adorable through the lens of a professional photographer. One of our favoritest people in the whole world, Kelsey, gave us a gift of a one-hour photo shoot with photographer Natalie Champa Jennings. Natalie was FANTASTIC! Here are a few pics- all were taken in Isaac's Nana's house and gorgeous garden. You will see Isaac (of course), me, Jonathan, and Lexie.

(this is my favorite picture ever!)

Sweet Sentiment

2010-08-16T13:14:00.004-05:00

Isaac and I had a lovely day at the farmer's market last week. After some serious taste-testing (me, not Isaac) we walked away with a homemade coconut barbecue sauce and a loaf of cranberry walnut bread.

Side note: We would have also had some vegetables (since that's the whole reason I go to the farmer's market) but I ran out of money. Unfortunately I didn't realize this until I had already chosen the perfect trays of veggies and the nice man had dumped them into a bag for me. When he said they accept checks, I was relieved. Until I noticed that I had used my last check a few days ago! I felt like a bit of an idiot. I guess I was REALLY not meant to eat any vegetables from his stand that week!

After leaving the farmer's market, we walked down the street to the local grocery store to get some dish soap. (You go through a lot of dish soap when you wash 40,000 bottles a day) Behind me in the checkout line was a rough-looking sort of man. He had the kind of facial hair you don't plan, but just get from just not shaving for a long time. He had on a dirty flannel shirt and sweat-stained hat. He was buying cigarettes and chewing tobacco. He glanced over at Isaac in his stroller and you could just see him melt. He said "Ohhhh, how old?" I said, "Two weeks today." He smiled and kept gazing adoringly at my little sleeping son. Then he said, "Remember this feeling."

Amen to that.

"Can She Take Him Back?"

2010-08-10T10:11:00.004-05:00

Ah yes. The million dollar question. Can Isaac's birth mom change her mind? Could he be taken from us?

In a word: Yes. Do we believe this will happen in our situation? No.

Every state has different adoption laws and processes, so I will briefly explain how it works here in Minnesota.

For an adoption to be legal, the birth mom must sign a Consent to Adoption. If the birth father is named on the birth certificate, he must also sign the consent. This consent relinquishes their rights as parents. In Minnesota, the birth parents must wait 72 hours after the birth of the child before signing the consent. However, they can take up to 60 calendar days to sign the paper.

After the consent is signed, the birth parents have 10 business days to change their minds. (Including weekends, this could be up to 14 calendar days). After this possible 14 day waiting period is complete, the birth parents cannot revoke their consent (i.e. they cannot take baby back.) All that's left after that is a court hearing that states the adoption is "final." In 99% of cases, this is a legal formality. The only factors that would get in the way at this point would be if there was proof of fraud or coercion somewhere along the line.

Now it's time for a little arithmetic:
3 day waiting period + 60 days to sign the consent + 14 days to change their mind= 77 days of "legal risk"

In Minnesota, the time frame in which the birth parents can change their mind is 17 days at the least, 77 days at the most.

With all that said, I firmly believe that Isaac will stay with us forever. How do I know? Well there are several concrete reasons I can point to... but mostly? It's just faith. Faith that God brought us all together for a reason. Faith in Lexie and her commitment to Isaac. Faith that this is so right.

Isaac's Adventures

2010-08-09T17:09:00.017-05:00

Since Isaac has been home, he has:

cuddled

met two of his future partners-in-crime, Drew and Lars

cuddled

visited the dog park

gotten lots of lovin from the grandparents

cuddled

tried out his new stroller

gone out to eat with Mommy and Daddy

cuddled

gone on a St. Croix river boat cruise

hung out with Lexie and met two of his birth cousins

cuddled

enjoyed tummy time (with Cody keeping guard)

cuddled

and spent time learning how to be a family of three! (And Cody, of course)

You Might Be a Mom of a Newborn If...

2010-08-04T15:50:00.004-05:00

You watch your dog throw up but don't clean it up until 45 minutes later because you just don't have enough hands.

The Hospital

2010-07-31T21:42:00.018-05:00

So you want to know more about this guy?! Hee hee. Isn't he cute? Well, I'm FINALLY writing about our hospital experience. It's taken me so long because a) Blogger was being difficult about uploading pictures, b)I'm finding that everything takes five times longer in Mommy time, but mostly c) I don't quite know how to put it into words.

Because I'm still at a loss for words about how to describe the most intense, surreal, amazing, and wonderful four days of my life, I'm going to let the pictures do most of the talking. But first, a timeline of how the actual birth went down.

Tuesday, July 20
8:10 am: Call from counselor. Lexie (Isaac's birth mom) is in labor! They are going to break her water! Get to the hospital NOW!
8:12 am: Walk around house in a daze, talking to myself. "Okay. Okay. Don't forget the camera. Okay. Okay. Snacks. Okay."
9:30 am: Got to hospital. Visited with Lexie and her parents in the delivery room. Turns out they aren't going to break her water until the doctor's lunch break from his clinic work... 12:00.
12:45 pm: Still waiting for doctor... getting a bit impatient!
1:00 pm: Doctor breaks her water.
1:00-5:00 pm: We are waiting in the waiting room now with Lexie's dad and grandparents. Lexie is in the delivery room with her mom; dilating, contracting, and waiting to be told to push. Lexie calls us in to visit every now and then.
6:30 pm: Doctor decides to get the show on the road by administering pitocin.
6:45 pm: Lexie starts contracting but is not dilated enough. Baby's heart rate begins to concern doctors.
7:00 pm: Decision to do emergency c-section
7:40 pm: Operating team has gathered, finally ready to do c-section
8:26 pm: Isaac Alexander is born after what the surgeon called "the most difficult c-section I've ever done." (Long story short: Lexie's epidural was no longer working. They didn't know this until they sliced into her skin. Baby's heart rate plummeted so they continued with the surgery anyway. When they cut the uterus open, baby's face showed and was being squeezed by a continual contraction of the uterus muscles. They couldn't get him out. After much pulling, squeezing, and yanking, they got him out and cut the cord that was wrapped twice around his neck. They immediately gave Lexie medicine through a mask to knock her out.)
9:10 pm: We got to visit our baby in the neo-natal intensive care unit. Fell head over heels in love.
10:00 pm: FINALLY got to hold our son for the first time after they spent 45 minutes (!!) trying to find a vein through which to administer extra fluids.
10:00-12:30 am: Snuggled and cuddled Isaac until we had to tear ourselves away to go home and sleep for a few hours.
6:00 am: Back to see our baby

*Isaac's vitals were strong right away and stayed that way through the night. He was kicked out of the NICU in the morning and joined us for the rest of his blessedly uneventful hospital stay*

Now- the fun part!

My little purple baby =) This was taken in the NICU before they poked him for 45 minutes, trying to find a vein.

Morning cuddles. It was SO hard to leave the hospital that first night, but we knew Isaac was in good hands. We figured we'd better get a few hours of sleep since we are in it for the long haul!

Isaac seeing his birth mom for the first time. Because it was such a chaotic delivery and they needed to heavily sedate Lexie as soon as he was out of her, she didn't get to see him until the next morning,

Baby and his two mommies. Lexie gave him the birth name of Jacob Michael. She wanted him to have further proof that she loves and cares about him- she put the time and energy into choosing the perfect name for him.

Love him.

Four generation picture! Isaac with his birth mom, grandma, and great-grandma.

Lexie and her parents

Isaac meets his Grandma Patty for the first time. I'm not sure that I've ever seen a smile quite that big before... =)

Our little guy

The night before discharge, the hospital gave us a room to spend the night with Isaac. So we could practice full-time parenting with several wonderful nurses available at the touch of a button! Isn't that fantastic? The hospital offered this to us... I never would have thought to ask.
This picture was taken after our first night as a family =)

Cuddling with his birth mama during our last day at the hospital.

What is going on?!

Okay, I'll sleep some more.

Since this post is already verging on epic-length proportions, I won't go into Isaac's amazing birth mother, her family, or anything else that made those days at the hospital so wonderful. Another time. =)

Introducing Isaac Alexander

2010-07-22T07:35:00.005-05:00

Our son (!!!! I still love to say that) was born on Tuesday, July 20th at 8:25 pm. Isaac weighed 7 lb 3 oz and was 20" long. His entry into this world was very dramatic (that's a story for another time) but he is incredibly happy and healthy and hasn't been set down for one moment since he came out of his birth mom's tummy!

Jonathan and I have spent every waking minute at the hospital with him and many members of his birth family. It has been an experience so amazing that I can't even describe it. Plus I don't have time because I need to get back to my baby =)

We get to bring the little guy home on Friday! Here are just a FEW pics. We have many, many more of course!

Becky feeding Isaac his first bottle

My baby boy

Cuddling with Daddy.

Jonathan's First Daddy Job

2010-07-19T22:22:00.003-05:00

Putting together a piece of furniture with a ridiculous amount of parts.

Keep up the good work, Daddy!

How It Happened, Part 2

2010-07-18T20:13:00.013-05:00

Okay, where were we? Ah yes, camping.

I'm pretty sure we had a fantastic time with our friends that weekend. I think we played cards, sat around the bonfire, made yummy food. Fun kinds of things. Here is proof:

But as you can imagine, my mind was a million miles away!

Sunday morning, we packed up and headed home. We promptly dropped all the camping gear in the basement (where it remained untouched and smelling of bonfire for the next six days) and threw together some pictures to bring with us to our meeting. After a quick trip to Target (thank goodness for one-hour photo developing) we had a little 36 page version of our life.

We met the birth mom (I'm going to call her L) and her parents at an Applebees. I was very nervous. My heart was beating fast and I kept wiping my hands on my skirt because they were really sweaty! Jonathan and I got to the restaurant before L and her family, so we waited in the entrance. Waited for people that we had never seen before. That was weird. Then a very cute pregnant girl walked in and we figured she was the one. =)

The next two hours were a strange mix of small talk, intense emotions, awkwardness, laughter, tears, caution, and hope. My oriental chicken wrap tasted like sawdust and I don't think I even touched my lemonade. We talked about everything from childhood camping trips to the fact that she wants us at the hospital when the baby is born (!!!).

We got in the car after the meeting and it felt surreal. Jonathan and I looked at each other with wide eyes. He started the car right away and I said "Don't you think we should just sit here for a minute...?" Jonathan said no, he needed to drive. As we drove, he mutilated a toothpick and I tapped my foot more vigorously than I've ever tapped before!

"So... is she choosing us, then??" We went over the conversation again and again, eventually coming to the conclusion that... yes? She probably was choosing us? She had never explicitly stated that, though...

Even though everything was still up in the air at that point, we left feeling great about the meeting, L, and her family. (I'll tell you more about her later, because she's wonderful.) And so began the next kind of waiting. Are we the ones?! Does she want us to rock her little boy to sleep and take him to t-ball games and teach him to drive? Is she choosing us?!

How It Happened, Part 1

2010-07-17T21:18:00.004-05:00

As you know from my last delirious post, we are going to be parents any day now! Here's how it happened:

Saturday morning, Jonathan, Cody, and I headed north for a one-night camping trip with friends. An hour-and-a-half into the drive, my phone rang. When I answered the phone, I heard our adoption counselor say those magical words "I have a situation to discuss with you..." I took her advice and pulled over at the next exit. From then on it's kind of a blur...!

Our counselor explained that there is a birth mom interested in us. And she's due Thursday. Thursday as in five-days-from-that-very-moment Thursday. Our counselor gave us some information about the birth mom's situation. I took very detailed notes... on a Chipotle napkin! The birth mom wanted to meet us as soon as possible, considering she could go into labor at any moment!

I hung up and talked a mile a minute, trying to fill Jonathan in on everything I had been told. The plan was for our counselor to pass our contact info along to the birth mom so she could call us directly and set up a meeting. Meanwhile, we are two hours away from home with a car bursting at the seams with camping gear! We decided to wait to set up our tent until we heard from the birth mom. If she wanted to meet that day, you better believe we'd turn right around and head back to the Cities!

We shared the news with our friends and anxiously awaited the call. Jonathan and I decided to take Cody for a swim at the lake while we waited for the phone to ring. While Cody swam and Jonathan threw the ball again and again, I spoke with the woman who is making our dream come true! She sounded incredibly sweet and excited to meet with us. (SHE'S excited to meet US?! If only she knew that we would move heaven and earth to be wherever she needed us to be!) We set a time and place to meet for dinner the next day. After I hung up the phone, Jonathan and I just stared at each other. Could this really be it?! We walked along that lake in a daze. An excited daze, but definitely a daze!

Something tells me that Moose Lake Campground is going to hold a very special place in our hearts!

The Six Words I've Been Dying to Say...

2010-07-14T20:50:00.006-05:00

I've been trying to think of a cute or clever way to say this, but I've given up. So here it is:

I'm going to be a Mommy!

Yes it's true! And Jonathan's going to be a Daddy! And Cody's going to have to share his space with a fur-less loud little wrinkly thing.

I have to get back to work, so I'll give more details later, but I can tell you that our baby boy is due tomorrow. Tomorrow?! What?! Yep. Tomorrow. So, like I said, I have to get back to work! We have a nursery to whip together, tiny baby clothes to wash, and some panic attacks to have.

Will write more later!

Ask and You Shall Receive!

2010-07-08T14:53:00.003-05:00

Here you go, Ali!

(You will notice that the cake is simple to make and there isn't one healthy thing about it. In other words, the best kind of dessert!)

Butterfinger Cake
1 Devil's food cake mix
5 Butterfinger bars (Freeze for easier smashing)
~10 oz caramel ice cream topping
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 large tub Cool Whip (or use 2 small tubs)
Chocolate syrup (for decoration)

1. Make and bake cake mix as directed.
2. Smash Butterfinger bars into pieces (I smashed the frozen bars inside their packaging with a mallet. Well actually the handle of our pizza cutter, but it works the same way=)
3. Right when the cake comes out of the oven, poke holes all over with a fork. Pour the sweetened condensed milk over the top and then spread the caramel topping over the hot cake.
4. Sprinkle 3 candy bar packets over the top. Cool completely.
5. Frost with Cool Whip and sprinkle contents of last 2 Butterfinger packets on top of frosting. Drizzle with chocolate syrup.
Store in fridge

Mmmm. Now I want to go make (and eat) one right now...

From the Mouths of Babes

2010-07-04T07:59:00.010-05:00

For the third summer in a row, I am nannying for two girls that I love very much. The oldest will be eleven in August. It's hard to believe I first knew her as a chubby three year old in my preschool class! The youngest just turned six and I've known her since she came home from the hospital.

The girls know that Jonathan and I are hoping to adopt a baby. I've often wondered what exactly that means to them. What do they think adoption is? Well, I recently had the opportunity to find out! Here's a snippet of our Thursday morning breakfast conversation:

**The topic of adoption came up when the six year old asked about our adoption cards. I ended my explanation with something about how a pregnant mom picks a family for her baby.**

6 year old: "The mom? So you're not the baby's mommy?"

Me: "Well, the baby will have two kinds of mommies. I'll be the mommy that feeds the baby, puts clothes on the baby, and helps the baby fall asleep. I'll do all the things that your mom does with you. The other mommy is the one whose tummy the baby grew in. She loves the baby too."

6 year old: "What makes the baby's mom pick you?"

Me: "You never know. It could be something funny, like she thinks Cody is cute. Or maybe she has an uncle named Jonathan and that makes her like us."

6 year old: "Or maybe she picks people who want the baby the most? You know, like they really need it?"

(... as she looks up at me with her big, earnest 6 year old eyes...)

6 year old: "What if the mom already has a kid and then she has another baby and can't take care of it?"

Me: "Sometimes that happens. A mom might realize that she doesn't have enough money to keep two kids healthy."

6 year old: "That makes me feel creepy. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

(I realized a few moments later that SHE is a second child! I think she was worried that her parents are going to find another family for HER! Don't worry, I talked with her about that later.)

6 year old: (She went immediately from her "I don't want to talk about it anymore" declaration to this) "So you won't know if it's a boy or girl? How will you have the right stuff? When the baby comes home, what happens then?"

Me: "A lot of things can work for both boys and girls. Things like bottles, diapers..."

6 year-old: "DIAPERS! I have old diapers! What kind do you want? You can have mine! Well anyway. I hope it's not a boy. Cody's a boy. Jonathan's a boy. If the baby's a boy you'll be way outnumbered! Okay. I'm done with breakfast. Can I leave now?"

I just wanted to scoop her up and give her a big squeeze. Those questions! So insightful, direct, and innocent all at the same time.

Sun Kissed

2010-06-29T20:33:00.018-05:00

We got back from our North Shore camping trip two days ago, and I'm still basking in the afterglow. There's nothing like Lake Superior, a rocky beach, and a few pine trees to recharge the batteries.

Here are a few highlights of our lovely weekend.

The traditional "setting up of the tent" photo. We stayed at Tettegouche State Park.

We may not have running water or a flush toilet, but we do have a foot stool.

Our campsite was a "cart-in" site. We parked the car in a lot and used this wooden cart to bring our stuff a half-mile in to our site. Cody got to test it out.

Packets of potato-and-veggie goodness

Hike to Two Step Falls and High Falls. Many, many stairs involved.

Cody cooling off at High Falls

Crossing a rickety bridge over a rushing river

Our friends and camping partners, Jill and Elliot. This was the beach at our campsite. Yep, at our campsite. I still can't get over how beautiful it was.

Elliot and Jonathan showing off the cooking spears they whittled. Aren't they manly?

This cart provided us with hours of entertainment.

A view of Palisade Head, a huge rock formation that was apparently formed 1.1 billion years ago. Don't let the raincoats fool you. We lucked out... it sprinkled for only an hour or so on our very last day.

So Jonathan. When are we going back?

Quick Update

2010-06-25T08:41:00.005-05:00

For those of you who not only worry about your own pets, but mine too =)

Cody is doing very well. He has a stylish little bald patch on his back, where the vet had to shave the fur to get a better look at his owie. He has a skin infection, but she said we caught it really early and gave us some wipes to clean it with twice a day. No skin cancer or deadly infections. WHEW!

Now... off to northern Minnesota for some Lake Superior camping! Life is good.

How Do You People DO IT?!

2010-06-23T22:09:00.003-05:00

"You people" = Parents
"Do it" = Not have raging ulcers from continually worrying about your children

I have a dog. You may have heard about him. We kind of like him.

My dog does crazy things that sometimes result in him getting hurt. And when he's in the middle of being hurt, I worry, worry, worry! He gets better and I am greatly relieved. Then he gets hurt again and I worry.

Cody's current injury is no fault of his own, however. He has a (*GROSS WORD ALERT! If you are easily disgusted don't read my description.*) bumpy, crusty, pussy, oozy owie on his back. He can't relax; he keeps whining and trying to bite it. We have an appointment with the vet tomorrow morning. He's been eating, drinking, peeing, and pooping regularly so I know it's not life threatening and he's JUST FINE. But still. I worry.

So. Again. How do you people do it?! I have a dog with an owie on his back and I'm a wreck. What will I be like with a kid that needs to be taken to the emergency room?

Pray for me.

Lady of Leisure

2010-06-21T22:13:00.002-05:00

School ended on June 15. I start nannying on the 23rd. That left me with 7 summer days of freedom! I have used them wisely. Here are a few of the things I've done:

Relaxed outside my favorite Osseo coffee shop, Segue, with an iced chai and a good book

Lounged in a cute Adirondack chair on the deck of our new library. (It overlooks a little lake! A man-made lake, yes. But still a lake.)

Made the BEST CAKE EVER! (Butterfinger Bliss) Jonathan brought it to work... these are the slices he saved for me. =) I told you he's a good one!

Enjoyed Cody enjoying the river

.
Got hooked on the show "Weeds." I'm 6 years (?) behind the trend, but definitely loving it.

Savored a hand-dipped cotton candy ice cream cone! (Disclaimer: This picture is from the internet. I did not eat three ice cream cones. Although I could have.)

Watched a Shakespearean play "Troilus and Cressida" at the grand opening of the outdoor stage in Maple Grove. (Photo and acting courtesy of Cromulent Shakespeare Company)

Hunted down a hard-to-find bar on the Mississippi River. Jonathan and I enjoyed a beer or two on the deck. This was the view!!

And... I even took a nap! (I don't have a picture of that, because that would be weird.)

I LOVE SUMMER!

Is your refrigerator running....?

2010-06-19T04:30:00.006-05:00

Well, it's 4:31 in the morning and here I am. I don't even have a screaming infant to blame!

I'm up for two reasons.

1. It's hot.
2. The adoption line rang at 3:45 and buckets of adreneline were dumped into my bloodstream.

Not exactly a sleep-inducing combination!

Although the call was a hang-up, it got me thinking. In the three-and-a-half months we've been officially "waiting," Jonathan and I haven't gotten ANY prank calls. Zip, zero, zilch. That's pretty amazing if you think about it. Our contact information is really out there-- we are all over the internet and scattered across the country in various forms of fliers, adoption cards, newspaper ads, etc.

Let's face it, people. We are prime pranking material. Can't you just picture a high-school or (perhaps drunk) college student thinking it would be hilarious to call and explain how we could make a baby? Even I can see the hypothetical humor in that.

But nobody has done it! Even the hang-ups and wrong numbers have been few and far between. Maybe it's time to start giving my fellow humans a little more credit... =)

Always Be Prepared

2010-06-16T18:21:00.003-05:00

Dear Baby,

If you decide to join our family with only a moment's notice, we now have a place for you to sleep.

Ready when you are!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Credit Where Credit's Due

2010-06-15T21:54:00.003-05:00

Thanks to Andi for the clever new blog title =)

Your royalty check is in the mail...

What I Want

2010-06-13T21:28:00.002-05:00

A baby, obviously. =) But that's not what I was going to say.

What I want is to enjoy every single moment leading up to the day we meet our baby. The last thing I want is to wish away my life waiting for what's coming next. These are really, really good days and I don't want to miss them because I'm so focused on something that will happen soon enough.

So, here's to staying in the moment! (This is me, toasting the computer)

Another Reason Why I Love My Job

2010-06-11T18:29:00.003-05:00

If I notice a stain on my shirt when I get dressed in the morning, I can still wear it and pretend that one of the kids did it. That day.

Top 10 Laughing Internet Babies

2010-06-11T07:48:00.001-05:00

Channel Your Inner Marketing Genius

2010-06-07T20:28:00.006-05:00

Because ten heads are better than two, we are asking for your help. I need some fresh perspective on how to get our information OUT THERE! I will tell you the things that we've done and you tell me the things we should do. Deal?

Print ads

Minnesota Daily- Classified ran for 11 days
UMD newspaper- Classified ran for one weekly issue
Minnesota State University in Mankato- Classified ran for 3 monthly summer issues
Rochester area "Coffee News" (free newspaper found in coffee shops, bookstores, etc)- 3x2 ad run for 6 weeks

Hung fliers

Colleges

University of Minnesota-Twin Cities (thanks to Kelsey and Annika who even check up on the fliers to see if they're still visible=)
St.Olaf
Gustavus

2. Towns

Farmington
Stillwater
Osseo
A few in Duluth
A few in New Ulm

Facebook

"Childhood Questionnaire" to be completed and passed along with our adoption info and blurb attached.
Message to all our Facebook friends (about 20 friends responded from all over the country and said they'd be willing to hang fliers, so those got mailed to them)
"J&B Adopt" fan page

In the workplace

Placed fliers and adoption cards in both of our lunch rooms. Wrote notes encouraging people to take a bunch and pass them along.
Talk, talk, talk!

And I think that's about it. So, what's next? There are a few ideas floating in my head, but I need to hear yours!

When all is said and done, who knows how the mom of our baby will find us. Maybe she'll find us through our agency and all of this outreach will be for nothing. But even then it won't be for nothing because it gives me a little tiny feeling of moving forward in this waiting game and I need that. Feel free to leave your thoughts as a comment or e-mail us at jonathan.becky@gmail.com

Bring on the brilliant ideas!

I Love This Book

2010-06-04T07:31:00.004-05:00

A description of this children's book begins with:

There is an ancient Chinese belief that an invisible, unbreakable red thread connects all those who are destined to be together.

If you find yourself wandering through Barnes and Noble or your local library, see if you can find this book. I think it's beautiful.

I Got Thumped

2010-05-31T20:03:00.006-05:00

Have you ever found yourself going through life on auto pilot or rushing through every minute of the day or just plain crabby and then something happens to make you realize how good you've got it? Or how amazing this world truly is?

My co-worker calls that "getting thumped." God sees you taking everything for granted or throwing yourself a pity party and gives you a big ol' "thump." Hey, open your eyes! SLOW DOWN! Maybe even smile a little bit.

Well I've been getting thumped a lot lately. It's a particular kind of thump. The kind that reminds me how GOOD people are.

This whole adoption thing has made me interact with people I never would have met otherwise and in ways I never would have dreamed (like discussing my infertility with the Fed-Ex man, for example.) Over and over I find myself touched by how perfect strangers are willing to go the extra mile to help us find our baby.

Just a few examples:

A college student at St.Olaf offered to make extra copies of our flier, consult with his boss, and hang them every possible place he could think of. On his own time.
An acquaintance of mine from high school owns a store and offered to put a pile of fliers by his cash register. We haven't talked for 10 years, and rarely crossed paths even before then.
Several people have posted our information in their personal blogs. Some of these people I have never met and probably never will.
A waitress at Fitgers in Duluth saw Jonathan hang up our flier and came to our aid. She said he had put it at "hip level" and it would be destroyed by the many servers walking in and out of the kitchen. So she took a new one, dug up some industrial strength packing tape and completely laminated it to the wall. It might peel off the paint when it's time to take it down.

And those are just people we don't know! I can't even BEGIN to list all the ways our friends and family continue to love and support us. I feel like I go through every day wrapped in a giant bubble of prayers, love, and positive thoughts.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Who doesn't like Pop Rocks?

2010-05-24T22:57:00.002-05:00

This was the same reaction I had when I first tasted Pop Rocks.

Have I Ever Told You How Much I Love My Husband?

2010-05-20T21:28:00.004-05:00

I got a good one, you guys. A really good one. He can make me laugh even when I don't want to.

Remember how I mentioned in the last post that a pregnant girl said to me, "Oh my God! YOU are pregnant? You look fantastic!" I figured this would happen, but I still didn't respond in a very intelligent way when it did. I said "Yeah, I'm not. We're adopting." And then I mumbled something really witty like "Well I'm glad I don't look pregnant... since I'm not..." and then walked away really fast.

Jonathan could tell I was a bit rattled. When I went into the bathroom, I passed the baby off to Jonathan so he could watch him while I was peeing*

(*What? I forgot to explain this part? We were given baby dolls at the beginning of class and told to treat them as we would a real baby. Specifically, "You wouldn't leave your babies lying on a table, would you? Pick them up!" She said if we needed to go to the bathroom, we had to bring them with us or find a sitter)

So, back to the bathroom. Me, going over the encounter with the pregnant girl in my head; Jonathan, watching our plastic child.

When I was done using the bathroom, I opened the door and hit something. Something small. Something low to the ground. Something... swaddled? There, lying on the commercial grade blue/green/brown flecked carpet was our little wide-eyed baby. Waiting for me to hit him in the head with the bathroom door.

I burst out laughing and couldn't stop until we got back into the room.

That, right there, is why I love my husband.

Baby Class

2010-05-19T21:41:00.004-05:00

If you ask a woman dealing with infertility whether she would rather spend three hours in:

A. A room full of glowing pregnant women or
B. A pirhana infested bathtub,

... she would probably help you draw the bath.

Okay, now that I've shocked you with my bitterness, we can continue on with the story. =)

Our adoption agency recommended that we attend some sort of "Caring For Your Newborn" class through a hospital or clinic. So, that's what we did. We specifically chose the after-the-baby-is-born class since the labor and delivery part obviously does not pertain to us.

I started to become nervous a few hours before the class started, which surprised me. Up until that point, I had been looking forward to the class as a way to learn some baby basics. But as the class grew closer, I really considered the fact that I would be the only non-pregnant female in the room. Awesome. I briefly fantasized about stuffing a pillow in my shirt. (I even decided which pillow I would use, people.)

Well, my fears were only half-confirmed. I was the only non-pregnant, non-male person in the room. But, I only got one comment ("YOU are pregnant?! You look fantastic!") and they didn't make me wear a t-shirt saying "INFERTILE" and sit on a stool in front of the class. Whew!

All jokes aside, it was surprisingly hard for me but very valuable for both of us (we got to practice swaddling, diapering to avoid the umbilical cord, and the "football hold"). Not that we'll remember any of it when there's an actual baby involved! I suppose that's where the "trial by fire" and "learning on the job" thing comes in.... =)

Adoption Brain

2010-05-12T20:14:00.005-05:00

Pregnancy brain. Wisegeek.com defines the phenomenon in the following way:

"Pregnancy brain is a condition that affects expectant mothers, usually during the first and third trimesters. Sometimes known as placenta brain or baby brain drain, the condition is usually characterized by short-term memory loss or forgetfulness."

I'd like to propose the existence of Adoption Brain. Symptoms present in a similar manner to pregnancy brain; forgetful, absent-minded, distracted, flaky. You may suffer from a serious case of Adoption Brain if you have done any or all of the following within a one week period:

* Poured orange juice on your cereal
* Stood in the shower, unable to remember for the life of you if you've washed your hair yet
* Left the wrong phone number in a voicemail to a colleague because you've suddenly blanked on the number you've had for the past 600+ days.
* Said "Good boy!" to your computer when it booted up with no problems

I'm sure I've never done any of these things, but if I had, I would definitely blame it on Adoption Brain.

Why I Love My Job

2010-05-10T20:46:00.004-05:00

I get hugs. At work. How many people can say that?!

Sometimes I'm sitting on the floor and a kid scoots over to me, squeezes my arm, and then goes back to doing whatever he was doing.

It's moments like that when I remember all over again how lucky I am.

Permission or forgiveness?

2010-05-07T18:26:00.004-05:00

Since every other word on here is adoption, adoption, Cody, adoption, ADOPTION, you may have a hard time believing what I'm about to say:

Ahem.

There are still people in this world that don't know Jonathan and I are hoping to adopt a baby.

Yes, it's true. We are, however, on a mission to change that. =) One of the strategies my Adoption Bible suggests is to make sure all co-workers are aware of our plan and have access to our contact information. Maybe they know somebody who knows somebody... you know the drill.

Yesterday I e-mailed my supervisor, asking him if I could send a short e-mail to all special ed staff in my department. This e-mail would explain our desire to adopt a baby and list our contact information so they could have it on hand. Long story short, he didn't know the answer and passed the buck to his supervisor. She said, nope, can't do it. She was kind and offered alternatives, but was very clear that an e-mail such as this would violate our district's "acceptable use policy."

I get it. (Although I must admit that my first response was to cross my arms, pout at the computer, and say "But so-and-so sent out an all-staff e-mail trying to sell her TRUCK! No fair." Mature, huh?) If I had given it a little more thought, I would've realized that "no" is probably the only answer they could give me. I would be using a professional avenue to disseminate personal information and a school district can't go on the record saying, "Sure, go ahead."

With that said, I think they would have happily turned a blind eye if I had just done it. By asking permission, I forced them to answer with an official policy. And official policies always err on the side of caution. So the moral of the story is... I should do whatever I want. Ha! No, I'm kidding. But in some situations it makes more sense to ask for forgiveness rather than permission and I do believe this was one of them.

Back In The Saddle

2010-05-01T12:06:00.008-05:00

For a few weeks after we found out the Minnesota birthmom was going to choose another couple, I wasn't in the mood to continue our outreach efforts. I didn't consciously sit down and think "I need a little time to move past this. I'm going to let myself heal for a couple weeks." No, I'm not nearly that self-aware or organized. =) But, it just sort of happened naturally. Whenever the thought crossed my mind about doing more things to get the word out... ugh. It just didn't appeal to me.

But, then something shifted and I was ready. Nothing dramatic or earth-shattering... I just woke up one day and putting an ad in the U of M student newspaper sounded like a good idea.

So we did.

Cool, huh? The ad will appear each day until school ends (6 editions total- including the "finals edition," which will be available all week for people to peruse. 5 days for the price of one!). It will also appear in the University of Minnesota- Duluth's newspaper next Wednesday. AND it's posted in the online version of UMD's paper at http://www.umdstatesman.com/classifieds/

We're famous!

Dog Park Friends

2010-04-25T20:51:00.004-05:00

Cody and I are creatures of habit. I come home from work, Cody races to the nearest patch of grass, hops in the Rav4, we drive to the dog park, and Cody whimpers like he's never been more excited in his life. Because we go around the same time each day, I’ve gotten to know some of the other people that frequent the park. I call them my dog park friends. As we pass on the trail we say things like, “Hi.” Or, “Hello.”

There are some dog park friends that I see everyday. These are the people that notice when Jonathan and I are babysitting another dog ("Who's this? Did you get a new dog?!"), when I hurt my knee ("Are you okay? You are usually such a fast walker!"), or when I take a trip ("You don't look quite as pale as the rest of us! Did you go somewhere warm?")

I giggle to myself when I think about what will go through their minds when I start bringing a real live human BABY to the dog park! Will they think back to the last time they saw me, wondering if they somehow missed my entire pregnancy?! How will they ask about who the baby is? WILL they ask?

Just something funny that I think about sometimes. =)

Another call

2010-04-13T21:47:00.008-05:00

We've been holding out on you, people. There's a Part 2 to that last post. Only two hours after we heard about the Las Vegas mom, my phone rang again. This time it was our adoption counselor with a different "situation." And this time, we were very, very interested.

Let me just pause here and say, getting two calls in one day is very, very uncommon. I have a theory about this. I think God knew that without this second call (only hours after the first), we may have been tempted to pursue the Las Vegas situation. Even though there were some factors that clearly made us uncomfortable. Having that second call in the same day snapped me out of the baby reverie and made me slow down and look at everything (a tiny bit) more objectively.

Anyway, back to this birth mom. She's 19, lives 50 minutes away, and is due June 27th. Oh. And she wants eight visits a year after the baby is born.

Eight! Our counselor told us there are very few adoptive families open to this much open-ness, so she was calling to "screen" us to see if we would even be interested in this situation. We said we'd be open to four.

I'm going to condense a 19-day drama into a few short sentences. We met with the birth mom twice over the course of two weeks. We had the chance to meet her boyfriend and mother. We spent six hours with her; laughing about old photographs, trading pet stories, talking about the baby, and getting to know one another. We had an instant connection with the birth mom and she repeatedly told her counselor how much both she and her mom liked us.

But. We knew that she was also spending time with two other couples. (We felt like we were on a non-trashy version of the Bachelor. We even had the "meet-the-family" date! Thank goodness there was no overnight date. That would've been awkward. )

This Monday we found out that she has decided to choose between the other two couples. They are both open to 8 visits a year.

Jonathan and I are sad, because we knew so much about this little one already. He's a boy, due June 27th. He already likes to suck his thumb and he kicks his mom when she's laying down to go to sleep. I was starting to picture myself wearing a little baby to the Maple Grove farmer's market every Thursday this summer. Or, road-tripping to my parents' place on Lake Superior with my THREE favorite boys.

With that said, we are really and truly okay. Not just pretending-to-be-okay-so-people-don't-stare-or-send-casseroles, but honestly okay. We both feel that we wouldn't change a thing, even if we could go back. Logistically, we thought 8 visits a year would have been nearly impossible to follow through with. The last thing we wanted to do was promise something we couldn't deliver. This baby was not our baby, but I know that our little one is out there. We will be ready when our baby finds us!

A Call

2010-04-09T19:32:00.004-05:00

A few weeks back, my phone rang as I was getting my kids on the bus. I peeked at it to see who was calling. It was our adoption lawyer. Hmmm. One of the buses was late, so I had to wait a few minutes until I could listen to the voicemail. I was curious, because we didn't have any outstanding business with her and I couldn't figure out why she would contact us.

When the bus finally came and I was able to check my voicemail, I heard "Becky, I have a situation that I need to discuss with you. Please call me back as soon as you can."

A "situation?" That's code for "There's a birth mom interested in you"! Agh!

I scrolled through my contacts faster than I've ever scrolled before! For the next few minutes, I stood outside my school, dumbfounded, as she told me about an expectant mom who lives in Las Vegas. The birth mom's lawyer had contacted other professionals in their adoption network, trying to find adoptive parents for this woman's baby. Our lawyer sent our profile. Turns out, the mom in Las Vegas chose us. She chose us. To parent her baby.

The rest of the afternoon is a blur to me. I anxiously waited for an e-mail our lawyer promised me- a social and medical history of the birth mom. I must admit, I was not the most present and dedicated teacher for those next few hours.

That evening, Jonathan and I reviewed all the information we had and eventually decided that this situation was not right for us. There were several factors that made us feel uneasy. As we helped each other process everything, it became clear that it was not a good fit for us.

This was not a decision we made lightly. There is a real live baby involved. Due on August 21st. Crazy, huh? But we feel confident that we made the right decision for our family. And now we move forward.

Definitely made things interesting for awhile there... =)

Did You Miss Us?

2010-04-06T21:29:00.009-05:00

We spent last week in warm, sunny Mexico! My poor chapped Minnesotan hands were healed the minute we stepped off the plane.

Here are a few pictures of our tropical vacation:

The tables have turned: Mommy and Daddy woke DREW up at 3 am!

The first of many cute faces we saw during the week

Drew, say "palapa"

The ocean!

Apparently iguanas are like squirrels in Mexico. They're everywhere!

Andy and Drew cooling off the tootsies

C-U-T-E

Snorkeling in Akumal. We saw five sea turtles and one sting ray!

Us =)

The happy Quiring family enjoying the pool

Total relaxation

The men

A day in Playa del Carmen

We saved most of the awesome towel art we got during the week. We called it "The Zoo."

We made some wonderful memories. Now back to our regularly scheduled program... =)

Coolest. Thing. Ever.

2010-03-24T17:11:00.006-05:00

Just think: Our baby could be growing in someone's tummy right now! Isn't that just mind-blowing? Our baby could be opening and closing her eyes, or even sucking on her little fingers! He might be the size of a grapefruit, tennis ball, or some other weird non-human analogy that pregnancy books use to help us understand what we can't see.

I just think this is the coolest thing ever.

Pushing Boundaries

2010-03-23T21:43:00.005-05:00

Here is something that Jonathan and I have found to be a bit ironic. The road that leads people to adoption can be deeply personal, sometimes even painful. But then, to make domestic adoption a reality, you must make your plan very, very PUBLIC. That has been a difficult shift for me to make!

We have been told over and over again by our agency, lawyer, and many adoption books that it is very important to engage in some sort of "outreach." This means letting the general population know WE WANT A BABY! Outreach can include anything from telling friends and family that you are hoping to adopt, to flying a banner over spring breakers in Fort Lauderdale. Our counselor said "Decide what you are comfortable with, and then push yourself a little bit further."

One of the things we decided to do was create adoption flyers. Here are what they look like:

Our plan is to hang these anywhere and everywhere! So far, we have papered the town of Farmington and the college campuses of St. Olaf and Gustavus. I thought that hanging flyers would be easy-peasy. Definitely not edgy or boundary-pushing for us.

Well, turns out it's HARD! Every time I talk to a store clerk or someone at a college residence hall, my heart beats fast, my palms get sweaty, and I have to give myself a little pep talk. It's silly, but I feel like I'm baring a little bit of my soul to these strangers. Overall, the reactions we have gotten from people have been very positive, so I'm getting more and more confident each time. That, and I've been telling myself to stop being such a little wuss! =)

Leave No Ball Behind

2010-03-18T22:58:00.006-05:00

Spring has sprung and Cody is in seventh heaven! The snow at the dog park is melting to reveal hundreds and hundreds of TENNIS BALLS! (And piles of poop, but nobody wants to hear about that.)

The following pictures were taken with my phone at the park today. Cody gathered all of these balls one by one as we walked around the path. At no point did I touch any of them... he did it all on his own. How does he carry them, you ask? In his mouth, of course. And believe it or not, he fits them all in there AT THE SAME TIME!

(Yes, he actually carried four balls in his mouth at the same time today. Well, three whole balls and one broken one. Talk about talent!)

YAY SPRING!!!

I can breathe now

2010-03-14T11:17:00.005-05:00

Remember how I said I was going to have mini heart attacks every time my phone rang? Well, a few things have happened that are helping me get over that!

One. A few Fridays ago, our agency posted a text-only version of our birth parent letter on their website. It is accessible to anyone who visits their website and clicks on the "Choose A Family" link. That was a big deal to us, because it meant our info was really and truly OUT THERE! For anybody and their brother to see.

Jonathan woke me up the next morning by shaking our laptop in my face. "Look at this!" I groaned and said "What is it? I don't have my glasses on." He told me I would most definitely want to put them on. I remember thinking that it better be pretty good and not just some mediocre YouTube video of someone dancing around with a light sabre.

Well. Turns out that it was worth putting my glasses on. In our adoption e-mail box, we had a new message from a girl who had seen our profile. Among other things, she said "I want to give you my baby."

WHAT? WHAT?! WHAT?!?!?!

A trillion things went through my mind, but mostly... what do I do NOW? I went to all the trainings, listened intently, took notes. But now that it's actually happening... I've forgotten everything! What's the next step? Anyway, to make a long story medium-lengthed, it turns out that this person was either trying to scam us or was not the right situation for us. The next e-mail I received from her said that her daughter was "not small" and they've been living in an apartment and have run into financial difficulties. She even said her daughter has brown hair and brown eyes and "is very sweet." She ended the e-mail with "Think about it. I'll pray for you."

So. Either it was a scam (as our adoptive counselor suggested) or she has an older child that she is looking to place for adoption. Either way, not for us. This was okay, because I was a little hesitant from the minute I read the first e-mail... something didn't seem quite right. She didn't sign it, there were only a few sentences with no details about anything, etc. My hopes were not shattered or anything of the sort.

Two. A few days after that, our special adoption phone rang! We have two numbers that are dedicated to adoption stuff, one is a local number and one is a toll-free number. They are both routed to my cell phone so that I don't have to carry around two phones. We assigned a different ring tone to the adoption numbers, and I most definitely heard that ring coming from my pocket while I was at work the other day. Since I was with the kids at the time, I couldn't answer it. It was all I could think about until I could check my voicemail later that day.

Turns out, it was a wrong number. =)

So- those are the two reasons why I no longer have panic attacks when my phone rings these days. It's funny how things work out the way they do, because I never would've thought to HOPE for a scam and a wrong number right off the bat. However, it was probably the best thing that could have happened, because I am now (a little) more relaxed and feel more prepared for when we get the real call! Just goes to show that God knows what I need even when I don't.

Seriously. Try this.

2010-03-10T19:47:00.004-06:00

When you find that you have too much on your plate and there's no way you can get everything done, there's only one thing to do:

Play this game.

http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html

Below is a description of the game. The Air Force fact may or may not be true, but it's fun anyway!

How are your reflexes?

The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.

If you can go longer than 18 seconds, you are phenomenal. It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.

The Friendly FedEx Man

2010-03-07T16:36:00.004-06:00

As you all know, we are... (drumroll please)... "In the Book!" The birth parent letter we designed to go into the waiting families book is on a double-sided 11x17 piece of paper. This is much too complicated and much too important to do on our little printer at home, so I headed to FedEx Kinkos.

When I gave the man behind the counter our jump drive, I directed him to the correct document which was in a folder labeled "Adoption." He went to warm up the printer and came back to chat. "So," he said. "What made you want to adopt? Have you always just felt it in here?" He patted his heart.

I had to smile, because he seemed so earnest and had no clue that this is a very personal question that one probably shouldn't ask a stranger! A million thoughts went through my head during that split second. Do I explain about my infertility? Do I really want to say the word "uterus" out loud to a man I've never met? But if I say "That's how we plan to build our family," it sounds so vague and evasive...

So I said "I'm not able to get pregnant, so adoption is the way that we're going to build our family." Too much information? Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not sure.

PS- Because the copier wasn't working and I had to stand there for 55 minutes, he and I went on to have a very in-depth conversation about adoption. When I left my jump drive there and had to go pick it up a few hours later, it was sitting behind the counter with a note attached to it: "Jonathan and Becky, parents to be!" It was a strange, but nice encounter with a strange, but nice man. =)

It's Official

2010-03-03T09:21:00.005-06:00

We received this letter in the mail on Tuesday:

Oh my gosh! This means that I'm going to have a heart attack every time the phone rings because it could be somebody telling us to pick up our baby from the hospital! Or it could be the birthmother of our future child, calling to see if we're the right family for her! Or, it could be a telemarketer trying to get me to increase my credit limit.

Perhaps I'm going to need to learn some relaxation techniques.

We're not in a 1980's after-school special anymore, folks!

2010-02-27T08:00:00.006-06:00

You know the type. A fifteen year old boy is doing something wholesome like playing tiddlywinks in the attic when he stumbles upon a tattered birth certificate with his birthday... but someone else's name! His life is turned upside down as he sets out on his quest for The Truth.

From everything I have read, it seems that domestic infant adoption has radically changed over the past 30 years. Most adoptions prior to the 80s were "closed." An adoptive family brought a new baby home and there was no contact with the birth family, either before or after the birth. This was standard. Some families (like the one in our after-school special) waited until their children were older to tell them that they were adopted.

Although there may still be adoptions like this happening, it is no longer the norm. Most domestic infant adoptions today are considered somewhere along the "open" spectrum. This could mean anything from sending the birth family pictures and updates twice a year to spending Christmases together! Each situation is unique because it depends on so many variables. It's up to the birth family and adoptive family to decide what works for them.

Adoption will be a part of our child's life story! We want our child to know everything about how he or she came to be a part of our family. If the stars align and our adoption goes the way we hope, we would love for our child to grow up knowing his or her birth family. A person can never have too many people that love them. =)

Public Service Announcement

2010-02-23T17:01:00.004-06:00

If somebody looks tired, don't mention it. Don't say, "Becky, do you need some caffeine?" or "Long day, Becky?"

Because Becky might think that she looks just fine until she hears this.

(By the way, I blame the Olympics!! I just get sucked in and can't go to bed.)

Parent Panel

2010-02-19T17:33:00.005-06:00

Last week, Jonathan and I attended a “Parent Panel” at our agency. Going into it, all we knew was that adoptive parents were going to share their experiences with us. The meeting began at 7:00 pm on a work night and was held in our agency’s downtown office, which is always tricky. Come home early, exercise the dog, fix something to eat, shovel it in as we’re driving, navigate unfamiliar downtownishness, etc, etc. It was a group training and I must admit that I fully expected to sit in the back and zone out if I needed to. Yes, sometimes I do that.

But WOW. It was amazing. I can’t describe the feeling that I left with, so I shouldn’t even try. But I will anyway. “Intimate” is the word that comes to mind, and I know that sounds weird. For an hour and forty-five minutes, we got to re-live the most intense experiences of these people’s lives with them and intimate is exactly what it was.

It turned out that the panel consisted of one adoptive parent and one birth parent. The adoptive parent has two children and went through three adoptions, one of which "failed." (After developing an adoption plan and choosing a family for her baby, the birth mom decided to parent after the baby was born) Her stories were emotional- exciting, nerve-wracking, heart-breaking... everything you can think of. It was especially powerful for us because we could imagine ourselves in those situations. However, it was meeting the girl that is a birth mom that was invaluable. As she spoke, the intimidation factor of "The Birth Parent" melted away. She is an ambitious, smart, and funny girl. She plays rugby in college. She has boy trouble. She brought pictures of her daughter and spoke proudly of all the things the baby is doing at only 2 months old.

Over here on the "prospective adoptive parent" side of things, it's easy to feel like birth parents are these mystical beings that hold your fate in their hands. (One day, a Birth Parent will find you and your life will be magically transformed!) It was great to talk and laugh with this girl, find out about her future plans, and get to know her a little bit--even if it was just for a couple of hours. I know every person is different, every situation is different, everyone has different feelings, etc, etc. This girl doesn't represent every birth mom in the world. But it sure was nice to meet her. =)

Creepy Man Babies

2010-02-19T07:23:00.003-06:00

Bear rug

2010-02-18T07:38:00.004-06:00

Becky, can we get one of these? It would look great in our living room.

Oh boy

2010-02-17T22:38:00.006-06:00

Driving through our neighborhood this morning, I saw a teenage girl walking to school. She had her backpack and fashionable coat, but no hat or gloves. Before I could stop them, the words "Where is your hat, young lady?!" popped into my head.

*sigh* I guess I'm officially a grown-up now, huh?

We Need Your Help!

2010-02-15T11:03:00.014-06:00

Yesterday, one of our favorite people in the world became our favorite PHOTOGRAPHER in the world! Our good friend Kelsey and baby-friend Drew sacrificed their Valentine's Day to the Adopt-a-Baby-K cause. Kelsey brought us (and her amazing photography skills) to the Arboretum where the goal was to take one good picture of Jonathan and I together.

That "one good picture" will go on the front page of our "Dear Birthparent" letter. This one page (front and back) letter uses words and pictures to describe our life together. Women considering adoption for their baby will see our letter (and those of 50 other families) when they visit our agency. From these one page letters, they choose a few families that they would like to talk to and/or meet.

SO. The picture we choose to put front and center needs to be fairly large and close-uppish (agency requirements.) It also needs to make us look loving and not psychotic (our requirements.) Kelsey worked her magic and took several pictures that fit those criteria! Now here's the tough part. We can't decide which one to use! PLEASE vote in the poll on the top, right hand side of the blog and tell us which one you like the most. Remember- the woman who's looking at these will be seeing 50 or so other very similar letters. We obviously want to stand out somehow.

Number 1:

Number 2:

Number 3

Number 4:

Number 5:

THANK YOU very, very much for helping us decide!

I bought what?

2010-02-12T20:07:00.005-06:00

Our agency strongly suggested that we have some baby basics on hand. Bottles, formula, diapers, wipes, a place for the baby to sleep, etc. So today, I bought these:

DIAPERS! For a BABY! Honestly, it felt really weird. I felt kind of like a fraud. I know that nobody in Maple Grove Target could care less if I'm buying diapers! Or even notice that I'm buying diapers. Of course I know that.

Nonetheless, it felt like I was playing grown-up and somebody was going to call me out on it at any moment! Ha.

The other thing I realized is that I know NOTHING about baby products! Time to start researching, I suppose...

Lists are my friend

2010-02-10T22:04:00.008-06:00

I like lists. I like crossing things off of lists. It's very satisfying. That's why I was thrilled when our agency gave us an outline of what needs to be done to begin the adoption process.

*The things in bold are steps we have already completed*

1. Orientation (see if you are interested in this agency)

2. Intake Meeting (are you SURE you're interested? Okay, here's a ream of paper to fill out)

3. Adoption Study (make sure you are relatively sane and law-abiding)

1st Home Study Meeting (at the agency's office)
2nd Home Study Meeting (at the agency's office)
3rd Home Study Meeting (at our home)

4. Training

Adoptive and Birth Parent Panel
Developing a Birth Parent Letter (a 2 page description of our life together; pics and text)
Working with Birth Parents (will attend on Feb 15)
Networking (will attend on Feb 27)

5. In "The Book." (Our birth parent letter joins those of fifty other waiting families in a binder kept in our agency's office)

Once we have completed the last step and are in "The Book," our information is available to all birthparents who visit the agency. That's when the waiting technically begins.

Do you see how many things are in bold already?! It makes me happy to see so many things checked off the list. The saying "Hurry up and wait" comes to mind... =)

Decisions, decisions!

2010-02-05T21:46:00.004-06:00

When we made the decision to adopt, we felt like that was the Big Decision. We are going to adopt! Decision made. Done. Whew. Now everything just falls into place, right?

Not exactly. Turns out, there are about 130 million different ways to adopt. International? Domestic? Foster-to-adopt through your state agency? Pick one.

Domestic? Okay. Do you want to work with an attorney? An agency? A facilitator? Pick one.

Agency? All right, which one? Large? Small? Nationwide? Local? Affiliated with a certain faith? Pick one!

Do you want open adoption? Closed adoption? Do you feel prepared to parent a child with special needs? How do you feel about twins? How much time will you take off when the baby is born?

AGHHHH!!! For an easygoing Midwestern couple that can't even decide where to eat on a Friday night, this is a lot of decision making!

But, we did it. We're doing it. And we feel really good about our choices. At some point, it all just started to make sense and one direction felt more right than the others. Thank goodness. Now I can return the mountain of adoption books I borrowed from the library. Maybe.

Take Two

2010-02-04T19:05:00.005-06:00

I'm considering changing the name of the blog to "Here we go (again!)" Hee hee. But seriously. Here we go again.

As you all know, Jonathan and I have gotten the adoption ball rolling. Here are some little factoids:

1. We chose to go the "domestic infant adoption" route. A pregnant woman will find us (either through our agency or by hearing about us from someone who knows that we're adopting. That's you guys!) She (or they, depending if there is a father involved) will choose us to be her baby's family. In most scenerios, adoptive parents bring their new baby home from the hospital at the age of 2 days old!

2. We are working with an agency called Adoption Minnesota (also called Wellspring Adoption Agency).

3. We have no idea when we will be parents. Because we are being selected by an expectant mom or couple... there is no order, list, time frame, rhyme, or reason. It's just a matter of waiting until the right woman finds us. It could be one day (!!) or five years. Both of those are very rare but it could happen.

So- all in all, we're back at it! We hope this blog can be one way we can keep everybody that we love up to date.

Also, I want to apologize for the fact that the last post before our 16-month hiatus was about diarrhea.

Who wants to hear a really REALLY gross story?

2008-10-27T20:21:00.005-05:00

So I came home from work, opened the door from the garage into the basement and thought... hmmmm. Smells a little weird.

Then I opened the door that leads to the upstairs and OH MY GOODNESS. Cody had explosive diarrhea all the way down the steps. This includes the first set of stairs, the landing, and the second set of stairs. Oh yeah, and the walls.

And judging by the way it has crusted and bonded with the carpet, it happened at least a few hours ago.

It was THE MOST DISGUSTING (and yes, I know I'm using a lot of capital letters today) thing I've ever had to clean up in my life. And I worked in child care, so that's saying a lot.

Jonathan happens to come home conveniently after I have cleaned it all up, disposed of the evidence, and everything looks more or less the way it always has. But, all the windows are open (in late-October Minnesota weather!) and he smells bleach and various other cleaners, so he knows something's up.

After I tell him the whole gruesome story, two of the first things he says are "You should have taken pictures!" and "I'm glad you were the first one home!"

I suppose I can forgive him since the third thing he said was "Do you need a hug?"
*************************
Soooooo, anyone want to buy our house now?

My calendar tells me it's October!

2008-10-16T09:55:00.004-05:00

Somebody (Melis, is that you?!=) has reminded me that another several weeks have gone by... post-less. Yikes! Actually, I've been thinking about it every now and then, but haven't felt like I really had anything to say. (Don't get me wrong, I still don't have anything to say, but I decided to write anyway)

The original purpose of this blog was to keep family and friends updated on the adoption process, because it's seems like something that will be complicated and exciting and emotional and sometimes messy. BUT, now that we're putting adoption on hold for awhile, well... I'm just telling stories about Cody and Jonathan and me. So that's why I may be coming around less until we actually begin the mountain of paperwork and meetings that come with adoption. With that said, here's a little something about what's going on with us.

* I have a FOUR DAY WEEKEND!! And I'm savoring every minute. I turned my alarm off last night (which is the best feeling ever) and plan to enjoy my day. (And do a little grocery shopping, laundry, and errand running. I can't get off absolutely scott free. But I can sit around in my pajamas!!)

* Cody's little butt is fine now, but it did take many soakings in warm water and applications of Neosporin. But I do have to say that a week after the Burrs-in-the-Butt incident, he sprained his hip!! (It's that crazy way he skids around when he chases tennnis balls. I'm surprised he hasn't gotten hurt before!) So, he had some pain meds and had to take it easy for a couple weeks, but he is absolutely fine now.

* Here's an interesting fact I learned from my oatmeal this morning: "Nose prints can be used to identify dogs- in the same way that fingerprints can be used to identify people." I guess we better get Cody nose-printed. Just in case.

Long time, no see!

2008-09-22T17:40:00.005-05:00

Date of last post: August 22?! It's already September 22!! Sheesh. Time flies.

Here's a quick update/random smattering of thoughts!

Our house is still on the market. And from what we can tell by looking at other houses in our area and the (very small) prices that go along with them... it doesn't look good, folks!! But, we're okay. There's no reason we have to be out of our house, and we actually like our little home very much. We are just giving it a shot, because we know that eventually we'll need more space and now's a good time to buy the kinds of houses that have more space.

Jonathan and I celebrated our three year anniversary a couple weeks ago! I love our anniversary because I get to celebrate the thing that means the most to me in the world and it gives me a reason to be all sentimental and mushy. =)

Cody has a little butt injury. He got a bunch of those tiny blackish/brown burrs stuck under his tail and in his little butthole (I know that's a funny word, but I don't know how else to describe it!) Poor guy!! It's all swollen and inflamed and I've been washing and applying neosporin twice a day. Even though it's not that big of a deal, I keep worrying about it. I can't even imagine what people do when they have kids! How do you not worry all the time?

And lastly, did you know there's a blog with the address www.jonathanandbecky.blogspot.com? I keep accidentally going there and am surprised when I see that someone else has posted to my blog. Then I realize that I have switched the jonathan and becky part around and it all makes sense. The pathetic part is that I have had this exact same "surprise" several times now. Ha!

In Cody's next life...

2008-08-22T23:36:00.001-05:00

We are using our "ask the audience" lifeline

2008-08-16T20:02:00.006-05:00

St. Joseph has arrived, in all of his nude-colored plastic glory. Included with the statue is a card explaining the history of this tradition as well as some hints as to where to bury it. Here's what it tells us.

Some common burial positions are:

Upside down
Right side up
In the rear yard
In the front yard
Simply place on the property
Facing the house
Facing away from the house
3 ' from the rear of the house
Exactly 12" deep

Well. That was helpful.

Please help us decide where to place St. Joseph!
* The most popular answer will determine where he will be buried, so this is serious business.

My relationship with the Olympics

2008-08-13T21:58:00.003-05:00

It's a love/hate thing.

I love them so much that I have been staying up WAY past my bedtime for the past four nights. And there's no end in sight. That's where the hate comes in. I want to sleep... but I can't.

As long as people are still flinging their bodies around on pommel horses and splashing around in pools, I guess I'll just have to be tired.

Dear St. Joseph

2008-08-12T20:35:00.004-05:00

Folklore says that if you bury a statue of St. Joseph upside down in your front yard, there will soon be offers on your home.

That's why this kit should be arriving on our doorstep within a few days:

I confess, I know very little about the saints. Particularly St. Joseph. And I feel guilty for only trying to make friends with him when I need something. But, if he's willing to help...

Although, if someone bought me for $2.99 and trapped me underground (upside down, nonetheless!), I'm not sure how willing I'd be to help them.

Cody's favorite beer!

2008-08-09T21:56:00.005-05:00

Summer (so far) in Pictures.

2008-08-08T20:43:00.010-05:00

Jonathan modeling with Charlie. Sexy, aren't they?

Camping with Cody

Jonathan swimming with his buddy

Jonathan and Dad getting all American Gladiator

Euchre on the beach

Daddy! Throw the tennis ball! PLEASE?!

Could I HAVE a cuter nephew than this?!

Friends' wedding on the North Shore

Crazy weather on Lake Superior (Note: This picture is not altered AT ALL. This is exactly how the lighting looked at that moment. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen!)

Hmm, something's different....

2008-08-04T21:48:00.005-05:00

So, what do you think?

I like it. And I think Jonathan will be really proud of me for using html code and stuff. =)

(Background from www.cutestblogontheblock.blogspot.com)

Woops

2008-07-23T14:57:00.004-05:00

We had a baby in our house this weekend! No, we didn't steal her. (Although it is tempting. You should SEE her! You'd want to steal her too.)

My best friend since forever ago came to visit for one quick night with her husband and beautiful baby girl. (Melissa, I think it's been 17 years since we first met! Sometimes I don't even feel like I'm 17 years old, let alone have had a friend for that long!)

At one point during the evening, Cody was being especially wild and crazy, so I let him out into the backyard. We don't have a fence, but Cody usually listens well, so we're comfortable letting him out to do his business while we keep an eye on him.

The key part of that sentence being: "while we keep an eye on him." After I let Cody out, I got distracted and ended up wandering into the bathroom to talk to my friend while she gave her baby a bath.

About five minutes later, Jonathan looks at me and says "Where's Cody?" AGHH!! I left him outside! To run the streets! In the middle of the night! We both go tearing off, me out the back door, Jonathan out the front.

And there he was. Sitting on the front stoop, patiently waiting for someone to remember that he exists and let him back in the house. And my friend just laughs and says "That's what happens when you have a baby!"

Poor Cody.

Nanny Lesson #3: Enjoy the... detour?

2008-07-14T14:42:00.003-05:00

There we were, in a mess of construction and traffic, trying to find our way to the Children's Museum. When I realized there was a detour for the road we were about to get on, I must have said something that showed my disappointment.

(No, it did not consist of four letter words! I'm a teacher. I have lots of practice voicing my frustration in creative and appropriate ways.)

The older girl said "What's wrong?" and I explained that the road we were supposed to take to get to the museum was closed, so we needed to find a different way. Meanwhile, I'm all wound up inside because I don't know this part of the city AT ALL and all I have are very specific Mapquest directions which are now useless and traffic is horrendous and those stupid orange cones are way too far into my lane and if we don't get there soon we won't have much time to enjoy the museum because if I don't get this four year old home in time for her nap things will not be pretty and...

The older girl looked out the window and sighed dreamily. She said, "I love going different ways to places. I get to see so many new things!"

Amen to that.

"Why Adoption?"

2008-07-04T00:17:00.010-05:00

Why are we adopting? Well. Selfish reasons, really. We want kids! From the drool and the diapers to the giggles and the tears. We want it all!

That's why we're adopting. To add to our family. I do know, though, that when people say "why adoption?" that's not exactly the answer they're looking for. Every adopting couple has a story about why adoption will be the way that they form their family. Here's ours.

When I was 16, I still had not had my period yet. Up until that point, it hadn't been a major concern because I was physically active and my older sisters had gotten their periods relatively late as well. However, 16 is more than a little late, so we decided to get it checked out.

Several vials of blood, a few exams, and one MRI later the doctors discovered that I was born without a uterus. It is just plain missing. So, since the uterus plays a fairly important role in carrying a child, it was clear that I would never be able to get pregnant. Jonathan has known this since the beginning of our relationship and has been nothing but accepting, loving, and supportive.

That's the very (very) short version of our answer to "why adoption?" Am I sometimes jealous of the beautiful pregnant women in my life? Yes. Do I grieve the fact that I will never be able to feel life growing inside of me? Of course.

One thing I do know, though, is that my life so far has turned out to be so much more than I could have possibly imagined or even known to wish for. Why should this be any different? Here we go...! =)

By the way, anyone interested in a disobedient house?

2008-06-26T21:31:00.005-05:00

Our house is very, very sad

2008-06-26T13:38:00.006-05:00

Jonathan and I have decided that our house is doing everything possible to sabotage our plan to move. Here's the evidence, decide for yourself.

A couple weeks ago: We met with our realtor and decided to put our house on the market.

A few days later, we realize that the (only) big tree in our front yard has mysteriously died. And not gradually, like you would imagine a tree would. Nope. Not even one scraggly leaf made it out alive.

Fast forward to last night (Wednesday): Our first showing (!!) is scheduled for tonight (Thursday), so we spent the evening cleaning, mowing the lawn, etc. A couple unexpected things happened.

1. I discovered that the kitchen floor was basically submerged under cold water. Hmm. After looking around a bit, we discoverd that every single thing under the sink was SOAKED. Drenched. Sopping wet. (Turns out, there was a broken piece of piping attached to where the dishwasher water drains from. Water had sprayed everywhere.)

2. A bit later, I'm vacumming and all of a sudden, the lights go out and the vaccuum stops. I must have overloaded the circuit. No big deal, right? Jonathan goes to flip the switch on the circuit breaker, and it won't go to the on position! He tries lots of things, but it just won't work. So now Jonathan has to try to fix the broken sink in the dark. At 11:45 pm.

The next morning: I'm getting ready to leave the house and I notice that the water in the toilet is completely brown. We keep flushing and it stays as brown as can be. Flush, flush, flush, brown, brown, brown. I lift up the cover to the tank and the walls of the tank are covered with thick brown slimeyness. (Gross, I know) All I can think is... REALLY?! Why now?!

See what I mean? The only possible explanation is that our house loves us very much and is going to do everything in its power to keep us there. Well, House, we love you too but you're not really helping your case here.

(The story does end well for now, though. Jonathan, my hero, my super handy husband, fixed the water pipe and changed out the switch in the circuit breaker for a new one. Viola! Dry kitchen and electricity! As for the toilet, I scrubbed the tank and the water now runs clear. Bring on the potential buyers!)